Recently published a review based on my visit to a couple Kansas City, MO SCs. Not a great SC scene, but the two no-alcohol clubs introduced me to THC beverages, which you could purchase on site to drink in the club. I’m a cannabis enthusiast so took the opportunity to try something new.
Problem was, on both my visits to the KC clubs, I was already baked on my own supply, and not really in a position to evaluate what kind of effect these drinks have. Then, on an impromptu stop in a South Jersey liquor store the weekend following my KC trip (the one next to Cheerleaders NJ) I saw they were offering some THC beverages. This surprised me, because I assumed all THC products had to be sold in dispensaries.
I saw the Hand of Fate in this coincidence. Cannabis may not have the same level of connection to SCing that hot dogs have to baseball, but it has to be damn close. The SC spiritual overlords wanted me to do a deeper dive, including a more scientific yet still flawed test on the effects of these products, and write this primer on THC beverages.
First, the story on why you could buy THC beverages in NJ package goods stores, and (probably) in KC no-alcohol SCs. The THC in these beverages is derived from hemp plants, and not marijuana plants. THC doesn’t naturally occur in hemp, but they’ve figured out how to further chemically process ingredients in hemp to end up with THC.
The feds apparently de-scheduled hemp and hemp-derived products in 2018, and threw the regulatory task in the laps of the states, resulting in varying regulations, or no regulations. In NJ, the hemp beverages wound up in liquor stores, although two store owners told me the Cannabis Regulatory Commission wants to take control of it. In NJ government, even more than other states, money talks.
So, on to the experiment, which involved ingesting a THC bev while in a perfectly sober state to assess its effects. I was near the NJ shore on a sunny Friday, done with my business for the day and about an hour’s drive from Clancy’s. Thought I would take a 180 degree detour up there before heading home and popped into a liquor store. Bunch of different brands of basically the same thing: 4-packs of 12 oz cans of flavored seltzer, with each can claiming to have 10 mg THC. I bought the cheapest 4 pack ($16.99). My plan was to drink one (for science) and trash the rest. (I can’t bring shit like that home. Might as well bring home an STD while I’m at it if I did).
The hemp bev companies claim “THC is THC”, whether derived from hemp or marijuana. I don’t know about that. Two hours after I ingested the 12 oz can (i.e after I finished at Clancy’s), I was feeling a pleasant enough buzz, but not as intense as if I’d ingested 10 mg of gummies in the same time frame. That’s when the experimental protocol went off the rails, because I drank two more cans in the next 90 minutes. After that, I was definitely feeling a more intense high, and it lasted several additional hours. Still, I was able to sit down and do some low-key work desk when I got home, which I wouldn’t have been able to do if I’d ingested 30 mg gummies in the same time frame.
The THC bev companies say a 12 oz can is equivalent to a can of beer, which is an inane comparison, given the differing effects of cannabis and alcohol. As mentioned above, I got a pleasant high from the first can, and I feel nothing after drinking a can of beer. After 3 cans, I probably had the same general sense of goodwill I’d feel with 3 beers, with no sense of impairment and, of course, no alcohol odor on the breath.
Active ingredient must be nasty, b/c its masked by a super artificial flavoring (mine was lime) so nobody’s buying these for the flavor. It’s basically just another THC-delivery medium. At $17 for 4 12 oz cans each containing 10 mg TNC, you’re paying 42.5 cents per mg/THC. A 100 mg bag of gummies runs around $25/bag, or 25 cents/mg. So the beverages aren’t a value proposition. The most logical purpose, apart from way overpaying for them when available in the SCs (I paid $10-20/can in KC) is as “road beverages”. You might have discerned from the above narrative that I drank all 3 cans I had while on the road.
I do not recommend this, but only did so in the name of scientific discovery and investigation. I did not research this, but it is very likely that drinking one of these in the car would violate “open container” laws in most states. I am positive that if a LEO saw an open THC bev can, it would be automatic probable cause to demand a blood test, upon penalty of a license suspension. And, in NJ and most, if not all, other states, ANY detectable amount of THC in the blood is grounds for a DUI charge. So, these beverages aren’t an optimal way of ingesting THC while on the road, either. Much safer just to pop a gummie, which leaves no evidentiary trail for nosy LEOs


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