Draft

TL;DR: 60% white, 30% hispanic, 10% Asian, 0% AA dancers, 4 to 8s, mostly 6s, some older and chubby. $12 cover, $8 jack&coke, $20 lap dances, VIP requires bottle purchase, cheapest quoted was $180.

I try to follow a modified Papi_Chulo’s recommended review outline: I) Club Details II) Dancers III) Visit Details IV) Conclusion

I) CLUB DETAILS:

Loud, flashing lights, large. One of the nicer buildings for a strip club in Houston. Parking off Little York feels safe due to some trees. Not much around. Valet was there but not required.

The interior is nice, two story above the main stage. Plenty of open seating and several PLs at the bar behind me. Looks like there is an upstairs balcony, but I didn’t go up there. There is a weird back hallway area where the restrooms and VIP rooms are located. Smelled good, no smoke, just perfume, body odor and spilled beer.

II) DANCERS:

There were a surprising number of dancers for a Thursday afternoon. Probably 10, but more may have been out smoking outside. I got cornered by a Latina right off the bar, so I didn’t talk to many others.

Two dance sets on stage to pop and rap. Loud. Tops off on second song.

III) VISIT DETAILS

An unnamed Latina grabbed my interest from when I first sat down. She joined me at the table right after the waitress brought my Jack and coke. Her English was ok but not fluent. She showed me her impressive D cups and rubbed me to indicate a great time if I paid for VIP. Little Dan took control and I stupidly agreed to buy the crappy bottle of peach champagne for $180 plus tip. But that got me in the VIP which is one large room. The black pleather couches are in bad shape. But my new best friend decided to not sit on the couch, but kneel on her knees in front of me. Ten minutes and $300 later I was done. She was all business and vanished right after she helped me clean up with some tiny black cocktail napkins. Probably not my best negotiation.

I bought a mic Ultra beer ($8) and chilled for a few minutes before leaving. A couple of dancers (older slightly maternal blonde named Amber, and younger spinner Asian whose name I did not catch) tried to sell me lap dances. But I was out of cash and drained of interest.

IV) CONCLUSION

Take your own cover (rubber) to Cover Girls. Felt a little like a factory experience. Maybe it was just the girl who processed my needs. I’ll probably come back, when I’m tired of St. James.