Drinking again.

I took a two month break from drinking. Lost a little weight. Gained a little clarity. Didn’t visit any strip clubs during that time.

But I’m back baby.

I wanted to share my thoughts on what I order at clubs. In the past decade, we have seen a renaissance on craft cocktails. Martinis, Manhattans, and all kinds of fancy mixed drinks with gin or whiskey. But, I don’t feel right ordering these at certain clubs. Here are my experiences on what to order in Houston clubs.

New Club
If I visit a club for the first time, I’ll order a beer. Typically a Heineken. But I’ll order a lite beer, if that seems typical. I want to fit in at that first order. If they have a happy hour or drink special on the sign outside, I’ll ask the waitress about it. I try to tip larger if she offers a special.

I might order a beer and plus a side shot of Wild Turkey. Most bars have it. I like a side shot to speed up the buzz.

Hispanic Clubs
If I visit Chicas Locas, Glamour Girls, Diosa, or similar Latina filled club, I order a Dos XX dressed. This means you get salt on the side and a lime. Simply delicious. A couple of these for me and a few for the dancers won’t break the bank.

If I do the side shot, clearly it’s tequila. I just ask for whatever the well tequila is. I’m not up to spend extra on a good shot.

Party Clubs / Dives
At the BYOB or party clubs, like Bucks Wild, I still stick with a lite beer. I don’t like the lights and loud music at these clubs. So I don’t put them high on my list. Again, my goal is order what most others are ordering to fit in.

I don’t like the BYOB clubs. I’ve only been to a couple and typically forgot to bring a bottle and ended up drinking Red Bull.

If I want caffeine, I might order a Jack and coke. Most places do this just fine.

Clubs with Good Bartenders
The Men’s Club, Treasures, Mile High, and Pandoras fit in the category of clubs with good bartenders. If the back bar has over 20 bottles and they don’t use sweet and sour mix, they have a good bar.

I’ll try a manhattan. Sometimes, the waitress might not understand, so I’ll order my first at the bar. And I watch it being made and tip well if they strain the ice. Then I’ll order the next one from a waitress. If she doesn’t know it, then I can point to the barman who made the first one. This happens less and less. Most waitresses know this drink now.

If I feel like the bartender knows their stuff, I’ll try some more interesting cocktails. Also, I’ll peek at the back bar to see what bottles they have.

Great Bar Clubs
In Houston, only the St. James cabaret meets this definition for me. It varies by bartender and by shift, but they can make pretty much any drink I like here. I might start with the Manhattan or Old Fashioned. Later I might order a paper plane or a boulevadier cocktail. I like Campari, so I’ll get a Negroni. I’d the right bartender is there I’ll even order it sbagliato.

Also, I’ll order an ice water between rounds. I make sure to tip $5 on the first ice water the waitress brings me. This helps me stay hydrated. She is sure to keep brining waters. Glamour Girls has bottles with their own label. Don’t forget and leave one in your truck console.

Champaign Room hack
If I buy a VIP, I’ll ask the manager if they can do 4 or 5 drinks instead of the bottle. I’ve had luck at Glamour Girls and Pandoras (when it was Vegas Club) with this ask. This way I get a couple of whiskeys for me and 2 wines or whatever for the dancer. Good times ensue.

Drinking isn’t the first reason I go to a club. I like lap dances. But a great drink helps make a great night even better. What do you typically order and does it change on the type of club?