The Birth of A Degenerate.

Dec 15, 2021, 7:16 AM

So, I'm young guy

Over 21 but not over 27.

For some small backstory, I've had multiple consensual and nonconsensual sexual experiences when I was younger that I'm noticing is leading me on a path to seek constant lust. Before losing my virginity to a stripper I used to be a online camboy. I only lost it in the first place because I was single and assumed it was never going to happen.

When I first started dating I assumed that my desire to seek extra excitement would diminish but it didn't. I still craved for something I didn't know was missing... only to be disappointed that neither my partner or my peers had similar interests.

As I'm getting older I catch certain patterns that I perform. I'm starting to realize that I'm simply just a slave to sexual acts. Everyone here would claim that it's normal, but then again, not every young guy actively goes on forums like these in the age of social media and short attention spans.

At one point did you realize there was no turning back? Where did you go wrong? Is this even a problem? Repeatedly wondering to yourself if the constant need of sexual stimulation is common. Watching porn out of boredom in opposed to lust. Exploring sexual forums to feed your brain. Visiting strip clubs with vague but common intentions. Cancelling plans to feed your curiosity. Pushing yourself just to see how far you'd go if given access. If it was normal why do we hide it? What does addiction look like? How does one admit something to themselves if they're not even sure it's true. Is this what it means to just be a regular man? The constant questioning of "is it normal to ____" only to discover the answer for yourself x amount of time later is frustrating.

It gets annoying to question exactly what I'm potentially escaping if anything. How normal are we really? Why does something that feels like instinct and curiosity equally leads me with more questions than answers.

All of it is weird. As someone who relatively attractive, with an education, and interest in hygiene, social issues, and the environment along with alternate culture, I realize I stand out. That wasn't a statement to self boast, but instead a thing I want to hold on to as I delve deeper into myself over the years. How much longer will I be able to hold on to that aspect of myself as I continue to act in secret as someone else who I barely understand is also me.

In the future, I'd probably cringe at the idea of reading this like how an adult revisits their teenage years, but ultimately, these are only thoughts of a young man understanding this is only the beginning of a path he barely understands.

Comments (7)

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hofstra14 years ago

You 100% have a problem when: (1) you start saying to yourself, "do I have a problem here?" or (2) your behavior spins off new problems in your life.

Iknowbetter4 years ago

Assuming this is a legitimate post.. There is nothing wrong with you having these questions, but you should be asking them to a mental health professional, not the knuckleheads on this site.

Jascoi4 years ago

not awful. good question. I still ask it.

loper4 years ago

"multiple consensual and nonconsensual sexual experiences" What does that mean? Did you rape or were you raped?

NotAwful4 years ago

I was molested by adults and children

Dan36354 years ago

It is perfectly normal for a healthy male to have what you called “constant lust” or what I would call a “robust sex drive”. Enjoy your body. You only get one.

CJKent_band3 years ago

@NotAwful

I will answer your questions.

Q: At one point did you realize there was no turning back? A: There is not “turning back” in life, what is done or has happened can’t be “undone”.

We all learn from our own life experiences and try to live a good, better, happier life.

Q: Where did you go wrong? A: You didn’t “go wrong” anywhere, life happened to you when you were making other plans.

Q: Is this even a problem? A: In my humble opinion, in your case, there is an important issue, the fact that you were sexually abused as a child is causing you to be confused about sexual behavior.

This is very common in modern civilizations, in the USA, three out of four females and two out of ten males experience some from of sexual abuse in their lifetime, mostly in their childhood.

Q: If it was normal why do we hide it? A: Humans have a natural/normal desire to have sex, for procreation.

Civilization, Cultures and societies have introduced all sorts of new “reasons” for sex, from power, status symbol, recreation, religion entertainment, business, etc etc etc.

In the USA we have a contradicted view of sex thanks to the Puritanical roots the country was born with.

The main reason most Americans are “confused” about sex and sexuality is because they grew up in our over sexualized culture that at the same time is sexually repressed.

We ask the girls/women to be sexy, desirable and at the same time to be pure. Which is it?

Sex is still “taboo” in the USA, despite the fact that sexual imagery and porn is accessible to anyone with a television, cellphone or computer.

Q: What does addiction look like? A: Addicting behavior looks/is/exist when a person has an inability to stay away from a behavior.

And has an impact the person’s physical and mental health, personal relationships, quality of life, and safety.

Q: How does one admit something to themselves if they're not even sure it's true? A: The fact that you are asking this question indicates that you are aware that you may have an addiction.

This is the first step, recognizing that YOU may have a situation/problem that requires YOUR attention.

It is almost entirely up to you to be happy with who you are and to be happy wherever you go, doing what makes you healthy and happy.

Community Verified(3 approved, 2 flagged)

herbtcat: Not an Article. Should be posted on Discussion Board Incoherent Please sober up and rewrite. And I suggest you rethink or clarify your statement about having multiple consensual and *nonconsensual* sexual experiences.

minnow: Incoherent