First Timers - 5 Essential Tips

So it’s your first time in the strip club, and you’re overwhelmed? Don’t worry, big boy. Not everyone can handle women like Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods. Here are a few tips to make your night on the town a little more fun!

Tip 1: Relax

Going to the strip club doesn’t make you some sort of pervert. You can do that all on your own without our help. No need to be nervous. Buy the ticket, take the ride.

Tip 2: Bring your friends

Nearly everything is more fun in groups. No one wants to miss the look on their friend’s face when he finds his high school sweetheart on stage, and you really don’t want to be the guy who gets to hear the story second hand the next day.

Tip 3: Tip the girls

Strippers work for tips. It’s that simple. You don’t have to throw Mad Ducats on the stage for every song but if you’re a cheapskate sitting in the back row, the girls will move on and find someone to help pay their tuition.

Tip 4: Tip everyone

The club staff will always appreciate an extra dollar or two. Who doesn’t? The bouncers will be quicker to find your favorite girl if they know there is a little something in it for them. We shouldn’t need to explain the benefits of a heavy tip to your bartender, good tips = stiff drinks. Even the DJ will respond to a little green in his hand. If you’re not a big fan of Shania Twain, a song request written on a $20 bill will probably fix the music selection.

Tip 5: Don’t be a dickhead

Seems easy. There is no faster way to ruin your night and that of everyone around you. The world is full of dickheads. Help us reduce the foreskin footprint of the world. It’s also important to remember that the bouncers are just waiting to prove themselves on the biggest ass hat they can find.