THIS PLACE ROCKS on a weekend...

THIS PLACE ROCKS on a weekend night! Wow, I was amazed at what I experienced on Friday evening, from about 7 until about ... oh you know, dawn or so? It was knee-deep in firm young dingly-dangly perky bouncy titties and hot hot super-hot women who would sidle up close to you and make you feel all warm and tingly-tangly and at home. Furthermore, Penthouse has the best lap-dance rate in New Orleans, I was surprised to learn, with the following ratios foolishly made available by the mathematics-challenged management: floor lapper (among all the howling bachelors) $20; upstairs lappers (private room with couches) $40 per song; best deal in town 20 minutes for $100 upstairs; stupidest deal in town 30 minutes for (variously) $150 or $200 upstairs; super-pointless deal, one hour for $250 or $350 upstairs. Some girls won't quote you the 20-minute deal and will mention only the half-hour and hour deals and will vary their prices; but every single one agreed to the 20-minutes-for-$100 when I mentioned it. I had wonderful experiences with three different girls, all of whom were interpersonal, touchy-feely, letting me touch (respectfully; and I didn't try to get at the kitty ever, just the smooth curved outer skin adipose parts, yer knows?). And I had a pretty bad (but passable) experience with one hustler who worked too hard at upselling and then (much to my amazement) actually kept me from touching her tits or ass during the dance. I think the best thing about this place is certainly the dance prices with that 20-minute deal, for which I will certainly return; the next best thing is the stable of girls, many of them committed to working at Penthouse alone because they feel it's a safe comfortable place to be, and because they've figured out that they can get good cash there. They have RIDICULOUSLY over-priced drinks (for example, I was drinking premium highballs, which cost me $11.50 each which, after tip, added up to literally $14 apiece and, through the course of the night, could have cost me over $100 solely for what I personally ingested!) and they slowly started watering them down, the later the night went. But the staff is attractive and attentive, the place is clean, there are plenty of bouncers, and if you get there before 8 pm on a Friday, the cover is only $1. (Why charge it at all? It must be something about keeping the riff-raff out, and giving them time to check your ID?) There's another odd kink, that upstairs when you get one of the booths with couches (very private! no actual doorway covering, so the bouncer can and will walk right in on you, but otherwise you're entirely left alone) you have to "sign in" on an official-looking form. So, I was Fred Flintstone; then, I was Malcolm Sex; then, I was John Hancock Seagull; then ... Again, there must be some kind of reasoning going on, about riff-raff or police protection or something, but it ended up giving me absolutely no trouble. So, this club was an EXCELLENT experience, best in New Orleans for top-glitz high-caliber. Penthouse is not "real" and "down and dirty" like Visions, where you meet flawed women who actually get your jokes and know what you're talking about and probably live near you; Penthouse is not "fab fab" like Scores, where you meet some (very few) stunning women and have a close relationship with your waitress, your drink, and your dark little corner; rather, Penthouse is as close as New Orleans clubs ever have gotten (in my memory) to the old great (closed) Memphis club named Platinum Plus, which was just swimming with perky delectable tits, and all those tits were attached to women who were just begging to grind on your crotch and lick your ears. I'm giving Penthouse new top-dibs as best club in New Orleans. Just off Bourbon Street ... and worth the extremely long tiring half-block walk to get there. :)