I tried the Gold Room around...

I tried the Gold Room around 9pm on a Saturday night. Maybe I’m old and becoming a curmudgeon, or maybe I’ve just seen so many strippers it’s just hard to please me. Whatever the case, this club was just not for me. There was an $8.00 cover charge and they give you a wrist band so you can go in and out. My sprite was $4. The club was empty except for a handful of patrons. I took a seat at the stage. Dancer #1 was a 3 and when she smiled, the teeth that she did have were dark brown. Dance #2 was your typical tattooed stripper; in fact I believe she had something like the entire Declaration of Independence scribed on her back. Dancer #3 was attractive but unfortunately pulled off her g-string . . . that girl had some serious issues down there. Her lips were so huge it looked like she had a pair of balls hanging down. Then came dancer #4, the featured dancer. She had one of the most perfect bodies I’ve ever seen. It was as flawless as an airbrushed Playboy model. Not a scratch, not a tattoo, not a pimple; just a perfect body and she knew it. She was probably the most arrogant stripper I’ve experienced. Still I tipped them all as you should. I will not return to this club.