Showed up with a buddy and...

Showed up with a buddy and paid the cover, I think it was $20. Asked the cashier if I could have some singles, because I like to sit at the stage and tip lots. The doorman says, "Ever been to Scores, gentlemen? You don't need singles." Bad sign.

The place is huge and fancy. And empty. Granted, I think this was a weeknight, but still. It's like 11 pm. I think we were literally the only two guys in the place. We are escorted to a table and told to take a seat. I would have liked to sit at the stage, but I don't think there are even seats there. The stage is so far away I can barely tell if the girl dancing is pretty. The guy who picked our table out for us walks to the bar and sends over a pair of decent-looking girls. We don't pick where to sit and we don't pick who to interact with because for all we know there's only 3 girls in the entire place! Surreal.

So anyway, this girl who is only passably attractive gives me a fairly standard lap dance and makes it very clear that I can buy a blowjob or something, which I don't want. Even though the place sucks, I want to tip her a little extra, but I only have big bills, so I ask her if she has anything smaller, which she doesn't, because see, she's a prostitute, not a stripper. So we go to the bar and she tells the bartender I need change like it's the weirdest thing she's ever heard.