Mons is the best club I’ve...

Mons is the best club I’ve ever seen and I’ve been to dozens in different parts of the country over many years. In fact, the last few years I don’t even bother with others and save my money for when I can visit Tampa. Mons is the place if you want to touch really hot women with natural breasts. In a perfect world, there would be a Mons in every city in the US, but in the real world, you have to visit Tampa. Mons is a reasonably priced, clean, relaxed, full nude, high mileage, full friction lap dance environment without unnecessary expenses. If you want to drink or smoke or eat or just watch a stage show, there are other clubs that would be better for that. The rest of this review is based upon numerous visits over the last couple of years. The club doesn’t change much although occasionally they do make some cosmetic or procedural changes.

Most of the other reviews describe the physical aspects fairly accurately. Mons is small, they use black lights for lighting areas away from the stage, it is sometimes too hot or too cold, and the music is often too loud especially if you’re stuck sitting or standing near a speaker (of course, I’m getting old). Lap dances are on black vinyl leather-like couches that line the walls (not a lot of privacy). There are mirrors on the walls and the ceiling that can enhance the experience. In addition, you can use the mirrors to check out and/or keep track of dancers you may be interested in (or want to avoid). When this place is crowded, you won’t be able to sit down anywhere unless you are getting a lap dance on a couch. Parking is free and has improved in the last few years if you come at night. Cover was $20 the last time I was there and you can get water bottles or other non-alcohol drinks for $2-4. It doesn’t hurt to tip the waitresses. A few of them dance on other nights and some of them are friends of dancers you might like to get to know.

So much for the environment. Now for some observations about the dancers from numerous visits over the last few years: First, the club is very consistent month to month and year to year, but your experience will vary considerably based upon the time of day you come here and how long you stay. I’ve been here during late afternoons or early evenings (say 3 PM to 7 PM) and there may be only a couple of dancers and a couple of customers. I’ve also been here late at night when the place is packed “standing room only” and there are at least 50 dancers, most at least 7’s and many 9’s and 10’s. Day shift girls (they leave by 8PM or so) may not be as gorgeous as the night shift, but they are often more personable and erotic. They tend to be somewhat older than the night shift dancers (more girls in their 30s during the day). Some of the day girls work that shift for personal reasons and could and sometimes do work nights. A few are obnoxious but some of them are fun and make good conversation, which you typically can’t do as much when it is crowded at night. On crowded nights, the dancers tend to regard time talking with you as time wasted when they could be getting paid by someone else for dances. They are rarely rude to customers, but if it’s crowded, you need to expect a more impersonal, assembly-line approach unless you already know the dancer from past visits.

The average age of the dancers at night seems to be about 24 to 26 with a few 18-19 and a number of 30-somethings. As you’d expect from the stereotype, a significant percentage of the dancers are single moms. The dancers are generally nice, but when it is crowded, some of them, particularly the younger ones, become almost robotic as they circulate asking for dances. If you only do one dance, it will probably cost $30, but if you do multiple dances, you can often get them for $20 or $25 per dance. A few dancers will ask for a tip also, but most don’t in my experience. I hardly ever pay more than $30 for a dance, but it is very unlikely you’ll get dances for less than $20 per. The economy the last couple of years has reduced business so some dancers may be more flexible on prices for multiple dances, but don’t count on it.

Most of the dancers are regulars and know what the place is about, but occasionally you’ll get a dancer who won’t let you touch her yet still wants $30. The degree of “inhibition” varies somewhat. Some of these girls are a bit conservative while a rare few will do almost anything. Most are fairly comfortable having their breasts touched as long as you aren’t rough with them (a few seem to like firmer massaging though).