Last night was my first visit...

Last night was my first visit to a Vancouver-area club. I'd read reviews in advance and wasn't expecting much. The reviews of Cecil, Penthouse, No 5 Orange weren't encouraging. However, I was very pleasantly surprised and had a better time than expected. I would (and will!) go back ...but not too soon because: 2 big problems. (1) no-touching lap dances and (2) VERY expensive lap dances. The club opened on Friday at 3pm but I got there around 9pm. That was a great time to get there 'cause there were several girls already there and it was still easy to get a seat. That changed as the night went on. When I left after midnite, it was packed - no seats available - SRO. After an ID check at the door, went inside for a second ID check and to pay the very reasonable $8 cover. Note: they take your picture at this point too. I read the club was recently fully renovated and upon going in, it looked quite nice. Not the most fancy I've seen but far from the worst. Clean, quite well lit. There is a main semi-circular stage surrounded by chairs. Tables are all around that and then at the back walls of the club on 2 sides, there are booths with tables. When I got there those were all labelled "reserved". At the very front of the stage, there is a pit for a guest DJ who began "spinning" mind-numbing techno-crap dance "music" at 10pm. Sad to say, but that's today's strip club music. The crowd was a mix of men along with some women. Some were with groups of men, other women were in groups of women. There were one or more "stagettes" going on last night. The cute waitress quickly took my drink order and within minutes I had my $5 soda. I don't drink so can't comment on beer prices. Note, the club is fully nude and serves alcohol - but no food. And now, the dancers... The club had 5 feature dancers that night. What I found funny was that these 5 were the only dancers who went on stage. All the other house girls were there as private lap dancers only. Maybe the club works different if there aren't any features. The features were awesome! All were a minimum 9/10. I'd personally give 4 of them 10s. You can see for yourself at www.strippernet.com Check out Bailey Wylde (10), Tori Tame (10), Topaz (10) and Symphony Skye (9). A 5th babe was Megan Foxx (sorry, not THE Megan Fox) and she was even more devastating than the others. A perfect dancers' body: medium height, long slender legs, tight belly and big (fake) tits. Oh, and she has a gorgeous face too! Fact is, all these ladies were more gorgeous in person than their pictures indicate - and I wasn't drinking! They danced continuously. Each did 4 long songs to strip to nude. All were excellent performers: they could dance, use the poles, had smiles on their faces, were playful with the audience and looked to be having fun. Sad part was, when they weren't on stage, they were backstage and unavailable for dances or anything! D-Oh! They never circulated. The house dancers did circulate but were not overly friendly. If you didn't want a dance, they just walked away (usually politely but...) and kept wandering... and wandering. Lapdance prices were ridiculous. $35 per song and up. All dances were in the back area of the club where they had VIP rooms and booths with leather chairs. I got 2 dances and they were as good as you could expect from a nude club, with no-touch lap dances and $35 per song. Both dancers hung their tits in my face and, ooops, brushed them over me briefly but that was the only contact. They got as close as they could but mostly they had to lean against the wall and gyrate about 3 feet away. Still, they gave great close-up looks at their pussies and did the best they could with silly rules like that. Oh by the way, although the dances are $35/song, most people (like me) would give 2x $20 bills and I dare you to ask for $5 change... so be prepared for the $35 dance to really be $40. That's BY FAR the most expensive lap dances I've ever seen. Almost everywhere else, it's uniformly $20. That's why I on;y got 2 dances. If they'd been $20, I would have gotten more. I think that's also why the girls were getting very little business. Just wandering, asking for dances, getting turned down. I happened to be sitting next to a bouncer and the girls kept coming to him complaining that they weren't having a good night. They were gorgeous, the place was full of guys but they weren't getting dances. Geez, I wonder why? Some tried changing outfits - still no luck though. There were at least a dozen house dancers around and ranged from 6's to 9's but mostly at the lower end. The 9's were really great. I swear one was a Jessica Alba look-alike except with big tits and in a skimpy black bikini. Sadly, she spent my whole time there with this one group of guys. Also sadly, the house girls, in general, made no attempt to sit and talk with patrons. A few did but not for long. They almost all spent the time walking around or standing around waiting for someone to buy a dance - rather than chat up the guys, have some fun with them and coax a dance out of them by being friendly. They were nice enough to speak to but if you weren't buying a dance right then, they didn't have much interest in talking. Overall, I had a terrific time and will go back sometime. Great place if you want to keep costs down and just watch the features on stage. Take out a second mortgage if you want lots of lap dances - which really aren't 'cause they can't really touch you but, yes, they slipped up on that quite often. Gorgeous feature dancers (but unavailable for lappers) but so-so house girls. I also found the staff very friendly. The wait staff was very efficient, sexy!, no-pressure and always around. Lots of bouncers too and they were friendly to me.

Worth a visit!