I have been living in the...

I have been living in the DC Metro area all my life, and I have a special affinity towards gentlemens’ clubs…so when I heard through the grapevine about a club that offered lap dances, I had to go check it out. I swung through on a Saturday afternoon – place was easy to spot, parking was no issue. Although I am, as a child of the District, opposed to paying covers at strip clubs, I forked over my $7 and headed on inside. (Sidenote: I despise the wristbands – that’s why you have somebody on the door, people. Maybe on a busy nightshift, fine, but it was 3 in the afternoon. It ain’t that hard to remember a face.) The interior was very good, but not great: love the lighting, comfortable seating out on the floor, main and side stages well positioned, but the floor seems a bit cramped to me. Very high ceilings give the impression of a hangar-like room, but that might not bother others as much as me. Got a seat a section away from the main stage, waitress was over in under a minute (and drop-dead gorgeous, to boot). Drinks were standard cost for strip clubs -- $6 sodas, $7-$8 beers, didn’t get into the liquor/wine. I was also told to turn my hat forward, which irks me to no end – a backwards cap is no indicator of a disruptive person or “thug” – but house rules are what they are. Everything was clean, including tables, seats, and the bathroom. DJ spins in the back corner, did a pretty good job of mixing rock and hip-hop, although I later found that he pretty much knows what each girl wants to hear, so he’s not choosing genres as much as picking individual songs. (Insider’s tip: If you desperately need to see a dancer work to a particular song, just get the DJ a Corona and he’ll play you whatever you want.)

Onto the performers. There were probably 9-12 girls working, first on the main stage only, but within 15 minutes there were enough patrons for the house to open up the satellite stage in the rear. There was a mix of Barbie blondes, brunettes and a couple of Asians…mostly clean-cut girls, although almost all had some kind of ink. Only one girl I can remember who was really tatted up, but it actually worked for her. A very good mix of dancing types, which is critical for me – most girls stayed primarily on the stage, some were twirlers and benders, others were ass-shakers, and one or two worked the pole. On looks, I’d say the average was around a 7.5: there wasn’t a dancer that I would not have taken to bed, but there really wasn’t a truly jaw-dropping looker, excluding the waitress, who tragically never dances. Very cute girls, but not the best in the city (my money goes to Archibald’s, with CCR a close second). The dancers were very pleasant when they came around, although they all will put their hand out, whether you were paying attention or not. Had a couple girls sit down with me over the course of my stay, never felt like I was getting worked over for drinks (which I loved), but you will get some pressure to get a dance of some kind. Got myself a table dance during the 2-for-1 period (happens once an hour, I believe) – 2 songs for $20, and was very impressed with how much contact there was being out on the floor. So, inevitably, I took the plunge and went back for a private dance -- $100 for 10 minutes (I think it goes to $180 for 20 and $250 for 30, not including the dance special during the 2-for-1, which is $60 for 2 songs – roughly 8 minutes). The dancer was fully clothed, but I got a full-contact dance…touching is allowed anywhere but between the legs. I haven’t gotten a ton of lappers in my day, but I feel secure in saying that this was not a subpar dance. Judging from the dance I received and what I saw other patrons receiving, I’d say the private dances give you what you pay for.

I left PM after almost 2 hours, more than satisfied and substantially lighter in the wallet. I have been back since, and had an equal, if not better time. If you don’t have a problem with pasties and thongs and have the cash for the full experience, this is a club where you’ll have a very good time, too.