Dayshift or nightshift? That is...

Dayshift or nightshift? That is the question. Used to be that I only went to stripclubs after the sun went down because it's a nighttime thing. You know, it's like peeing in an alleyway or listening to jazz - things like that are best done under the cover of darkness. But due to circumstances regarding my (lack of) employment, I decided to throw caution to the wind and risk bumping into someone I know while I walk into Dream Girls. You know what? The aficionados here are right: Daytime gives you more space, a more relaxed atmosphere, girls that might actually give you the time of day, and, most importantly, mileage. If you can, try it once. You might never go back.

I've had an up-and-down relationship with DG. It was the first-ever club I went to, and I don't even remember if it was good at all just because I thought at the time it was awesome. Then there seemed to be nothing but depressing skanks here, so I stayed away. A lark brought me back and I found Zoe, a refugee from the nearby 418 Club (now called Whispers), and we had the same hang-out-with-my-wang-out times we had before. But then she quit and Dream Girls sucked again. Now it's back to being good.

It would have been smarter to go to another place during the day than downtown Minneapolis, but I was in a gloomy, nihilistic, fuck-it mood, and after reaffirming that dayshift at Choice only means the DJ has a clear look at the darkest corner of the lap dance room, I braved lunch hour and walked to Dream Girls at the heart of downtown. It is just past a bar called Sneaky Pete's, named because there's a door inside that allows you to go up to DG's without going outside then back in. (I ate at Sneaky Pete's one time; not only was every server there a woman, all of them were hot enough to moonlight at DG's, totally.) Be forewarned, however: You still have to pay cover during the day. Print out a free pass at the Déjà vu website; if you have that, the only thing you'll have to fork out before sitting down is the bottomless drink for a nonetheless-still-outrageous $9.