My visit to Baby Dolls started...

My visit to Baby Dolls started on a less than positive note when I turned into the parking lot and found ninety percent of the prime parking spaces empty but blocked off for valet parking and not an attendant in sight. I finally found a space in the back lot located in the south forty. There are four clubs (Baby Dolls, Déjà vu, Santa Fe, and The Fare) located around several large parking lots. I dutifully noted the sign informing me that if I parked in the back lot and entered the Santa Fe my car would be toed. Such friendly neighbors!

I paid the $1 cover, found a chair along the wall, fairly close to a stage, and settled down to wait ten minutes for my first beer. The managers looked like penguins in their tuxedos; so out of place on a hot Texas afternoon. There were eight stages, all occupied with dancers dancing one song rotations. Except for the main stage, the stages were very small, leaving little room for any serious dancing or movement by the performers. Judging by the performances of the dancers this was not a serious handicap as all I saw all afternoon was variations on the "stripper strut" and mostly bad ones at that. I noticed immediately that this place was obviously incorrectly named Baby Dolls; it should be called Barbie Dolls. There was so much silicone and saline that it should be taken for granted in my descriptions of dancers unless I note otherwise.

The dancers were all young ranging from 5s to 9s and were all business. In two hours, fifteen dancers, their smiles thin and forced, must have come up to me and said straight out, "Would you like a dance?" No, "Hi my name is…" No, "Hello, Would you like some company?" Just, "Would you like a dance?…" The answer being negative; moving on immediately. This group of dancers (using the word reluctantly) was probably the most stone-faced, bored, and unsmiling group of performers I've ever encountered. These girls must fall in love at first site, every morning, when they see themselves in the mirror. As a group they were totally absorbed with themselves in the mirrors. Only one, Jessica, made any eye contact with me from the stage. I tipped her $5, but she didn't pick up on the hint and I never saw her again after she finished her rotation. So you will be forewarned, here are their names, which I remember only because I wrote them down: Tanya, Haley, Tyler, Julie, Amber, Lauren, Valentiana, Sabah, Katlin (Catlin), Christian, Cole, Darlene, and Stacy.