Recently I was in DC for...

Recently I was in DC for a very long, boring conference of stuffy people who only seem to have personalities when they consume mass quantities of alcohol. Not my idea of a good time, so at night I headed out of DC to a strip club worthy of my hard earned dollars...maybe my hard earned 20 dollars is more accurate. After a 20 minute drive from DC, I found myself on a service road somewhere in Maryland near what seemed to be junk yards and industrial businesses. I don't think it is some place that you would find a lot of people walking around at night, but it didn't feel unsafe either...I did make sure that valuables were not in plain sight in the rental car however.

Ok, so onto the club...I've been to a lot of strip joints, clubs and shacks in my travels, but this one was really, really odd. Not bad mind you, but odd. I get there at 8:15. The front door is wide open, so naturally I step in. There is a little window where you become a 'member', which has something to do with the touching, full nude, alcohol deal at this place. And there I stood, and stood, and stood until eventually some guy came out from the back and asked me what I wanted..."to go into the club and see some naked women", I said. This seemed to puzzle him since the club was not open yet...mind you the door is open, but I must be a moron...so I say, "Ok, when will it be open?" "Soon" he replies! So I get in my car and drive around for like 30 minutes. When I finally come back, the club is now open as evidenced by the neon open sign. I guess this place only get's regulars who know not to show up unless the sign is lit.

Once inside the setup is in keeping with the theme of the place...odd. There is a small stage with no one dancing, some big leather sofas and then tables and chairs. Not knowing the protocol I sat at a table which yielded a gorgeous young woman sitting on my lap. The usual strip shack BS was exchanged...ever been here, blah, blah. Turns out that the couches require you to pay 5 dollars to sit in. There is an open area off to the left of the club with a bunch of chairs where you can get full contact top on or top off lap dances. I call this place a 'strip shack' because it's not really a club, but it does have some decent looking chicks who clearly don't mind working for some money. There is also a private room where you can get a full nude lap dance in the back past the toilets. I didn't bother checking this out.