I was really looking forward to...

I was really looking forward to going to Baby Dolls. Not only because it’s gotten consistently high reviews, but I remember having an excellent time there back in 2000. So smitten was I with Madeline, a short-haired blonde who said she was telling her parents back in DC that she’s a secretary, that I, the night before I was supposed to leave, drove all around the Metroplex to find a hotel that had a “Welcome To Dallas” coupon book in their tourist attraction pamphlet stand. (I was cheap then.) That gave me free cover to go in, find her, tell her I love her and ask her to have dinner with me after the club closed. She just stared at me like I dropped in from Mars. (I was pretty naïve then, too.)

On this vacation I went twice. First was in the day, after getting my rental and changing clothes. They moved since I was last there, but it’s still in an area where there are a lot of strip clubs. Zoning laws may have something to do with that, but it’s convenient to know if you’re in the right neighborhood by looking at the billboards. In fact, I spotted at least half a dozen other SC’s on the side of the road while driving down the Northwest Highway. Baby Dolls itself is housed in one of several two-story office buildings indistinguishable from one another. I didn’t feel unsafe going to my car at night, but just note that you may be parking in a space for the surrounding warehouses that are abandoned once the sun goes down.

Daytime cover was only a buck. And once I stepped in I knew why the daytime cover was only a buck: There were hundreds of people here at 3 in the afternoon. And there still was a lot of elbow room. My God, this place is fucking HUGE. It may actually be too big. BD’s is a single room. In the middle is a giant oval bar and lots of low tables and chairs. Further into the club is the ceiling-high stage with a curvy tip rail. And you can step around and behind the stage where there are even more tables and chairs, plus booths for dancing. Don’t forget the stairs on the other side of the room leading up to the second floor, with another bar and (you guessed it) low tables and chairs and booths. The only thing I can equate this floor plan to is a casino. It’s lit but not well lit, it’s dizzying (I didn’t know where the exit was and I found the offices), and it was populated with humanity enjoying a beer and a good time.