Filling my Saturday night desires
I'm a regular Saturday night visitor to Club Desire in Providence. This review covers those visits over the past month. It's divided into two parts. Part 1 covers the basics. After that in Part 2, I list and talk shit about each of the Saturday night shift ladies.
Part 1, the basic details...
Location/Parking: Desire is on a main road in an urban industrial/port area with quick easy access to I-95. Feels relatively safe but I'm still vigilant in the parking lot at night because of past incidents here. The lot is decent size but usually fairly full. Spaces seem to be most scarce between about 9 and 10. Valet parking is available at the front door for a small fee.
Admission: must be 21+ to enter. Like all Providence clubs no entry after 1 a.m. even on weekends when clubs stay open till 2. Cover charge on Saturday night is $20. Security in not intrusive- empty pockets, metal detector then sometimes a quick pat down. No hats or hoodies allowed. A couple of uniformed cops are present in the lobby. All the staff is very professional and helpful. No bad attitudes. Mercifully no ID scanning.
Layout: hasn't changed in a decade and nobody gives a shit about this anyway. But if you do, check out one of my previous reviews of this joint. One thing to note is there's a separate members only club upstairs called "Lust". Anyone can join for around $300 for a 3 month membership. That gets you free admission to both clubs along with most of the money back in credit for food and drinks but not private dances or rooms.
Drinks and food: Beers both imported and domestic are now $8. Most lady drinks are now at least $18. If you plan on buying a lot of drinks ask the staff about buying a drink card which gets more bang for the buck. Here's a helpful tip...hang on to the napkin that comes with your drink. It'll cum in handy if you do a private dance;) Bar staff is always extremely busy. But they do an amazing job with fast service and I've never been short changed in the 20 years I've been cumming here. Even the cute little wop waitress girl with the big schnoz has been hustling lately. Constantly making the rounds asking about drinks and returning a lot more quickly with my drink. Maybe she read my previous review:) Something to note is that the club including the bar staff only take cash. No credit/debit cards or Venmo/Apple pay. Not sure why anyone would be stupid enough to use a card at a strip club anyway? There's an ATM by the entrance. The outdoor grill on the smokers patio is now closed for the season. So dining at night seems limited to the members only club Lust upstairs.
Smoker's Patio: accessed from a door just to the right of the side stage and on the opposite side of the club from the entrance. Management apparently has finally thrown in the towel trying to discourage people from smoking weed out there. Everyone, both custies and whores, have been toking away on my last visits. Fyi weed is legal in Rhode Island anyway.
Tunes: played at a moderate level where you can still engage in conversation and you won't leave with your ears ringing. Unfortunately all the music is either that Drake or Kendrick Lamar crap or even worse Bad Bunny where this queer Porto Rican speaks Spanish in a monotone and sounds like he's drunk while some annoying repetitive autotune plays in the background. It seems no clubs play good old rock music anymore. And I'm even to the point where I'm nostalgic for when the DJ played that gay techno shit. The tunes are that bad folks!
Vibe: very laid back crowd. Overall the clientele is still older, whiter and has more solo mongers than other Providence clubs. However over the past year things have changed. There's been more 20 and 30 somethings, spics, and couples than before. And fewer old white pathetic losers like myself. A few weeks ago the whole VIP seating area in the back was taken over by a bunch of little shits with their civilian girlfriends. Looked like spoiled high school kids to this old geezer. However thankfully that was a one off occurrence and Desire still retains the feel of a gentlemans club that hasn't decended into the frat or hood party vibe of the other Providence clubs, Foxy Lady, Cadillac Lounge and especially Wonderland. And thankfully the club is strict about not letting anyone film/take pictures inside which is one of the reasons why I rarely go to nearby Cadillac Lounge anymore. Another recent change that I noticed is that Desire seems to be less of a "regulars club"... at least on Saturday nights. More of the dames are circulating and soliciting private dances instead of sitting around with regulars or hiding upstairs at Lust. Maybe because there's fewer whales around and fewer champagne rooms being sold according to my CF.
Hustle Factor: the dames come around, engage in brief conversation (like "how's your day/night going") and then ask if you want a dance. But there's no hard sells where a polite "no thank you" or "maybe later" won't work. And rarely any of that bullshit of broads asking for a tip just because they decided to stop by for some unsolicited conversation. Although it seems that there are more broads than ever that suffer from Golden Pussy Syndrome and have an unrealistic inflated sense of worth. Nevertheless Desire is operated in a very professional manner. There's none of the typical strip club scams like aggressive shot girls setting you up to "buy the lady a drink", minimum overpriced drink bullshit, surprise large tabs accompanied by some threatening brute or unscrupulous staff out to blackmail you. If you're looking for a safe place to cheat on your wife this is it. Just don't park out front! Use the valet where they hide your car around back!
Stage Shows: decent and recently improving IMO. But still nothing to write home about either. Very few ladies do any pole acrobatics. And most stage interaction is very tame as the ladies shake their ass and bounce them titties for some tips. But one very lucky young dude did get spread eagle pussy rammed right in his face at the stage (by Bria) a few weeks ago. The rest of us have had to settle for only caressing some ass after we slip a buck in a g-string. Only female patrons and other dancers seem to get more attention like being able to fondle boobs or get tits battered in their face. All but one of the dames got topless on stage on my visits regardless of whether anyone was tipping or even sitting at the stage. And recently a few ladies have even shown off their beaver on stage. A huuuge turn on for this monger! Note my handle people! It also seems like there's recently been more people than before sitting at the stage...at least the main stage. The satellite stage is still pretty deserted. I'd say about half the dozen or so seats at the main stage remain consistently occupied. And those on pervert row seem to be tipping generously.
Private Dances: Regular lap dances cost $25 per song topless and $35 for nude. The club takes $5 of each song and you annoyingly have to pay that upfront to a cashier before you enter. So it's 20/30 directly to the entertainer. All private dances are done in individual small rooms which are like changing booths in a department store. Lap dances function like a test drive. If you like what you see and hear, then most gents head to the champagne rooms on the other side of the club. To put it bluntly, with the right broad anything is possible in there. My review title gives a hint;) Champagne Rooms cost $150 per 15 minutes. Of that you pay $50 upfront to the club at the cashier at the CR entrance. Then the balance (100) to your entertainer. The CRs are like bigger changing rooms with a couch and taller doors. They're also more separate from the rest of the club off a short private hallway with the entrance guarded by a bouncer. Sometimes I will tip if I enjoyed the experience. Like fifty if she gives me a hand getting comfortable, a couple of C-notes to be treated like Bob Kraft and another couple to feel like Seabiscuit. And I always tip the dude at the cash register too!
The Dames: typically there's about 30-40 dames working on Saturday night. Attractivenesswise I'd rate most in the 5 to 6 range, with a couple of 7s and only two ladies I'd rate an 8 or 9. The roster is dominated by curvy to fat Latinas which make up at least 2/3 of the roster. They come from all over- the DR, Cuba, Brazil, Venezuela, Mexico, Central America, Colombia, even Spain and Chile. At most there's a dozen white chicks (almost all either Italian or Irish), 3-4 Asians (Filipino or Lao) and maybe 3 AA sistas (both dark and light chocolate). Most ladies are in their mid 20s to early 30s. Sadly management doesn't hire any girls under 21. So nearly all of the dames have been around long enough to go out and ruin their bodies with modifications like freakishly big BBLs, ugly tattoos, bizarre piercings and oversized or poorly done boob jobs. Finding anything close to a nubile young non-modified GND is like finding a pin in a haystack. Not only here at Desire but in all the other New England clubs! The club's Instagram @clubdesireri gives a good sampling of what to expect. Read on if you want more dancer descriptions.
WARNING! STOP HERE AND DON'T READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU'RE A DANCER or one of those dipshits that doesn't like to hear useful information about the ladies.
Part 2, Locker Room talk- a rundown of the current Saturday night stable of whores...
Alisha- chunky, sloppy looking, early 30s Sicilian brunette that used to dance at Cadillac Lounge. Lots of little tats with one huge one on her right shoulder. Looks miserable and walks around bitching that nobody's spending any money. Should look in a mirror to find out why!
Amaya- late 20s wide/chunky, fat bottom Latina (looks Mexican) from Texas with a very prominent tattoo across her front collar bone that has a bunch of symbols, either astrology or some Aztec picture language. Brown skin with jet black wavy hair and a face with a slight resemblance to Jenna Ortega but wider/fatter.
Amelia- looks like late 20's, very short, petit spinner with small perky A-cup tits, cute little ass, some kind of heart shaped tattoo on her right side torso and shoulder length frizzy light brown hair. She's very tanned and could be some kind of half breed. Has a really cute face that reminds me of Alyssa Milano back in the day.
Aria- mid 20s blonde, on the shorter side, a little round but definitely not chunky. Her face has a slight resemblance to Tate McRae and she's got a bunch of prominent tats like a huge one covering her lower stomach area and mudflap like ones on the back of her lower legs. Nice set of natural B's. But the turn on for this perv was the big fat camel toe under her thong. Yummy! Aria likes to get lit. She's fun, bubbly persona and most importantly dtf!
Athena- early/mid 20s, thin Latina spinner with long highlighted hair and a face with hint of Natalie Martinez but darker complexion.
Bianca- the broad I saw looked early/mid 30s, relatively tall, long white blonde hair and a face that reminded me of Joan Rivers. Yowzah!
Bria- mid/late 20s, dyed blonde afro-Latina. Looks Dominican with a face that has a hint of Cardi B. Curvy body with a mesmerizing gigantic fake caboose latched on. I'd love to tap that from behind!
Brielle- a doppelganger for Snookie from Jersey Shore. Probably mid/late 20s, short, very dark orange tan, Dego or Latina with huge fake tits and a big ass.
Cali- tall, thin, early 20s, looked Porto Rican with long curly black hair worn in a long pony tall. Wears big glasses and has a face that reminds me of Steve Urkel. Cute and bubbly persona with a large tat on left collar bone.
Cayenne- definitely not as racey as a Porsche, however the wiff I got from her sticky snatch was as pungent as a spicy hot pepper. So her stage name is definitely on point! She's a short, petit, young (early 20s) GND without tats that looks similar to actress Christina Ricci but with a bigger curved shnoz and beady little eyes like a troll. Did a 15 minute private room a while back and she gave me a topless only air dance that she ended abruptly after 10 minutes. Wanted another 50 to very briefly pull her bottoms to the side. Which I pathetically paid. And then only got a nano second glimpse of her smelly cat along with a big whiff of odor. Haven't danced with that GPS bitch again. Nor do I intend to either.
Celia- tall, very tanned, fat bottom Latina. Long jet black hair with a passing resemblance to America Ferrera. Looks around 30.
Cory- early 20s, light skin AA spinner with long Rasta braids and lots of little tats all over her body.
Dahlia- very tall, mid 20s Rooskie by way of the Northern Cali bay area. Goth looking with jet black hair, no tits, no ass, no tats or piercings. A very non-descript body that is neither thin, curvy or athletic. Her face sort of looked Chapelle Roan but with a long thin nose like the wicked witch of the west. Watched her on stage where she didn't even pretend to flash or remove any article of clothing. Not even her Granny pants which covered her underwear. No interest whatsoever. But bitch still then comes over to me unsolicited and hits me with some crap that she doesn't do regular lap dances and wants $250 for a 15 minute room. Just for fun I countered at the standard 150 and she acted like I insulted her. So I told that scamming GPS bitch to get back on her broom and fly back to Commieland.
Diana- mid 20s, tall, Mocha skinned Cuban with long silky straight black hair whose face has a slight resemblance to Zoe Saldana. One or two small tats. Nice set of tear drop B cups and a nice apple bottom phat ass. Fun, cute girl willing to please.
Diana's friend- not sure of her name but always hangs with her^. Mid 20s Latina from Cuba or some other shithole county. Attractive face that resembles the infamous hooker "Ruby the Heartstealer" with big pouty lips that look like they're good for sucking cock. Moderately curvy top with a really big fat bottom and a huge tattoo that covers her right thigh. No experience yet, but I'm intrigued.
Drea- mid 20s, very tall, fat bottom Latina with jet black hair. Looks Central American and has a face similar to fellow dancer London with a resemblance to actress Rachel Zegler but with bigger features like a bigger shnoz and a more prominent forehead like Frankenstein. She has normal sized tits but a big fat ass and a huge tat on her right thigh.
Emma- tall, looks mid/late 20s, very thin Latina with bolt-ons. Used to have long black silky hair but now it's a very light brown/dirty blonde. With the new hair color she now really looks like actress Leslie Bibb. Large prominent sternum tattoo (chandelier) between/just below her tits and smaller tat on her elbow. Sometimes she says she's from Cuba, other times she says from Venezuela. Anyway, finally did a Room with her. First she wouldn't take off her bottoms and only once briefly pulled them aside to reveal a long turkey neck twat topped with a small wiry pusstache. Second she only gave me an air dance and wanted an insane amount to have just a little bit of fun. Third I paid for 15 minutes and she called time after two songs, so maybe 7-8 minutes at best. If the broads coming by boat across the Caribbean from Cuba/Venezuela are all like her then I hope President Trump and Little Marco increase those drone strikes!
Jaylin- mid/late 20s, tall chubby blonde Pawg with huge tattoo covering her shoulder. Face reminds me of actress Heather Thomas from waaay back in the day. Usually see her hanging with a brutha so must dig BBC.
Kat- around 30, short, bodacious, some kind of mixed race Latina or possibly part Asian with wavy shoulder length brunette hair with dyed red highlights and big pouty lips. I see her only once in a blue moon. She hangs with Kaylani and is built like a brick house just like K. Got a huge set of E cup jugs like big tee shirt Billy Eilish and a huuuge caboose in the back. One of my life goals is to do a double private room with her and Kaylani where they put my head between those two big butts!
Kaylani- early/mid 20s, short, naturally bodacious Asian Baddie Girl (Filipino) that looks like Tia Carrera with wavy dyed blonde shoulder length hair. A couple of small tats like some small writing under her tit, but nothing overwhelming. Naturally big hooters with a naturally huuuge derriere (big caboose) and fat beaver that got a Kung Fu grip. Her private dances are like lane splitting through traffic on a Kawasaki Ninja bike- if you got the balls to do it, it's one helluva thrill!
Leilani- the latest broad to use this fabled name is a short, petit Oriental spinner with a wide face, so I'm guessing either Cambodian or Lao descent. Early/mid 20s with small A/B cups and small round bottom. Short dyed light reddish brown hair that used to be straight but recently became very curly.
Old Leilani from Cadillac Lounge- not sure of her name here. Danced around Providence around 10 years ago and now's back not looking better than ever. Probably in mid 30s. Tall, bodacious, Australian-Vietnamese mix from Southie (Boston) with dyed light brown/blonde highlights. Some prominent tats like a big one on her tits. Danced with her years ago at Caddy. Back then she was a real champ. Rode me like she was going for the trip crown!
London- definitely not from England! short, petit, young (around 21) cute little Central American Latina spinner who looks like actress Rachel Zegler but with dyed orange highlights on brown shoulder length hair. Lots of little tats on legs and arms. Very nice set of small B-cups with pierced nips, nice round heiney and a nice beaver. I've had a lot of fun with her in the CR when she was really really lit. But others have said she's a brat and a scammer. So mixed reviews, YMMV.
Maria- tall, chunky, very dark chocolate AA, with big saggers. Kind of looks like Letitia James.
Marina- haven't seen her dancing here in a while. But thought I'd mention her because I saw her and her massive jugs here as customers in street clothes. She was hanging with friends and her #1 n*gg*r.
Melissa- mid 20s, short, chubby Latina with long black hair and a cute face. Nice bubbly girl that was fun to talk to. But just not my cup of tea.
Mia- took down the name but apparently she was forgettable looking! LOL
Nicole- 30 something, short, anorexic skinny brunette. Staggers around in a drunken stupor. Posts on clubs IG.
Paula- early/mid 30s, bodacious Latina, with dyed golden blonde shoulder length hair, large bolt on C/D cups, a nice shapely derriere and no visible tattoos.
Reign- late 30s/early 40s tall brunette with enormous sagging natural jugs and a flat ass that's danced around Providence clubs for the last 15 to 20 years. Some say she looks like Katie Perry. I say she looks like Penelope Ann Miller in Carlito's Way. Either way she's a genuinely weird person!
Riley- I find her saggy banana boobs absolutely mesmerizing! IMHO those funbags by themselves are a perfect 10! The rest of her is cute too. A solid 8+ Irish girl from Boston about 25 with very curly/frizzy brown hair and a face that sort of looks like actress Elizabeth Perkins. No visible tattoos, a nice apple bottom bum and meaty pussy lips that go open sesame when she bends over. Last couple of visits she's looked absolutely radiant. She must be working out because her body is now more toned, no more jelly in the belly. My experience is that her private room is decent with some otp massaging but nothing "extra" special. For me it was still worth it just to nuzzle on those amazing tits!
Ruby- mid 30s Colombian, with huge fake tits and a huge fake ass. Attractive face that to me looks similar to actress Stephanie Powers waaay back in the day.
Scarlet- mid 20s "tattooed dollface" white chick. She's the same "Scarlet" that's danced around Rhody and Mass, most recently in Woonsocket at Dolls. She has her dedicated following and I'm not one of them.
Stephanie- mid 20s Brazilian beauty who embodies my fantasy of the girl from Ipanema. A solid 9! To me she has a resemblance to model Camila Morrone but is much prettier. She has long jet black silky hair and very dark tanned skin with tan lines along with a butterfly tat on her right bikini line and another tat centered on upper back. She's got a rockin' tight bod with a set of nicely done enhanced C cup bolt ons that are perky and still soft, sculpted apple bottom AND...when her bottoms came off Ohhhhh Myyyyy G-dddddd!!!!! Hubba Hubba! Beautiful, neat, thin pussy lips that barely protruded from very neat, very small outer labia. Beautiful, fun to talk to and even more fun in the CR!
Stephanie's friend- not sure of name, but hangs out with^. Late 20s or very early 30s, tall, thin Brazilian beauty with fair skin, long curly black hair and a slight resemblance to actress Margaret Qualley. Smaller perky boobs and a smaller round ass. Several small tats and one more prominent on her arm. Would like to try her out, but she's very popular and always busy doing private rooms. Any of y'all know her name or have any intel?
Venus- young looking (early 20s), relatively tall, big, bodacious ginger/red head with very fair skin (Irish looking). She's not quite a fatty, but close with some cellulite/rolls of fat. Got a nice set of big ole natural jugs (at least full C-cups, probably D's) and a naturally big fat ass. Sometimes wears her hair up in a sort of beehive. Face kind looks like Emma Bunton (baby spice) from the Spice Girls dolled up with a little too much makeup. Beware, big time scammer and ROB!
Vivian- is a mid to late 20s Wasian (white/Japanese). From a distance she looks Hillary Duff. But close up she looks much more Oriental with squinty chink eyes. Always wears a white blonde crinkly rug which upclose looks like some kind of roadkill she threw on her head. Lookswise she's ok. I'd rate her a 7 or 8 on the stripper scale but would not give her a second look outside the club. Nevertheless she's got a nice body with a nice set of tits for a Jap, perky B/C cups along with porcelain white skin and darker areolas. Not my dream girl but I'd still like to sniff her snatch. So I've tried tipping her generously on stage and tried to flag her down for a dance several times. But she avoids me like Covid. Always makes the excuse that she promised someone else a dance. Then hurries off and hangs with some younger dudes where she usually gets shot down then either stands by herself or retreats to the dressing room especially when she sees me walking towards her! Lmfao! Hey I realize that I'm a fat old disgusting stinky loser and that most dames tell me that they find me "weird" or "creepy". But I go to strip clubs to indulge in the fantasy that women find me at least attractive enough to humor me with some idle chitchat... and the hard reality that my money is attractive enough to let me molest them. So I'm putting her on the GPS list.
Bottom line: Desire has the most ladies working on Saturday nights of all the Providence clubs. And usually the most attractive too. So combined with the private room experience I'd say IMO Desire has usually been the best club on Saturday nights for PL sex addicts like myself.
