Miss Nude New England, or how not to spend an evening at a strip club

(Notes on the girls are at the bottom, In case you don't want to read the rest)

THIS IS THE WORST STRIP CLUB IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!1! DESERTSCRUB WAS RIGHT!!!!1!1! The building is run down! The parking attendants are homeless people! I had to mortgage my house to get in the front door! The bouncers try to mug you every chance you get! The wait staff is rude! And ugly! The drinks are watered down! And that water comes from a toilet! And they’re so expensive, I had to go rob a bank to afford one! The girls are hideous! They just sit on stage and do nothing for ten minutes! The music is too loud! Lap dances are out in the open! No one takes any clothes off! This is ripoff central!!1!1!...

Okay, are all the idiot haters who call us shills gone? Good. Let’s get on with the real stuff.