Solid 7s all around

A Solid 7 Kinda Night

I pulled up to a large brick building tucked away in an industrial no-man’s-land — the kind of place where dreams go to die, or come true, depending on how much cash you brought and how many drinks you’ve had. Based on the surrounding scenery (abandoned warehouses, mild post-apocalyptic vibes), this place could go one of two very different ways. But, hey, the reviews gave me hope.

I parked in a giant lot and spotted a big, bold “Valet” sign. My wallet tensed up. But then — sweet mercy — the word “Complimentary” hovered above it like a glowing angel. Of course, there was no valet in sight, so I valeted myself like a true gentleman.

Inside, I was immediately greeted by a metal detector and a $10 cover charge. Safety first, regret second. I walked in and immediately noticed only two women working. That felt... statistically alarming. But then, two very attractive women were leaving as I entered, so I figured maybe the talent was just on a rotating shift like a sexy Waffle House.

The layout was interesting: two square bars to the right, each with seating all around — very communal, very Cheers-but-hornier. To the left, a large rectangular stage with a circle of low-rise leather chairs, which looked like the VIP section of a Bond villain’s man cave. One guy was parked there, laser-focused on the dancer like he’d paid for exclusive streaming rights.