Some good, some "eh", none bad

It's probably been ten years since I last went to the Boardroom, but yesterday I saw only minor changes in that decade: the lighting seems a little more garish, the seating is a bit more crowded, and the dancers are a little older (but then, so am I). The big difference, though, is that I remember lots of happy customers, whereas yesterday there was only one grumpy old man (me).

The club opens at 3:00 pm. I didn't want to be the first customer, so I arrived around 5:30. I was the first customer. The place was eerily silent. I saw some shadowy figures along the right-hand wall. (Bartender, guy, and dancer in conversation, so maybe I wasn't the only customer.) The Gothic Horror flick vibe turned up a notch as the club came to life around me. Music started; the video screen lit up; a dancer materialized. In the best cinematic convention, I saw this in distorted perspective, with the action on a platform twelve feet overhead.

Since I was the entire audience, I felt obligated to walk over and sit at the stage. She remained overhead for the entirety of the song, and then clumped down the stairs in nine inch heels. Oddly, she spent most of the set performing to the 19 empty chairs, and only a few seconds with me. I had better luck with the next dancer, who came over to converse. As luck would have it, she was free after her set, so we went off to find out about lap dances. These are $20 each. I had assumed that “each” meant “per song,” but (1) songs seemed to be about 3 minutes long, and (2) if there was a connection between what she was counting and what the DJ was playing, I couldn't hear it. So including a tip, I think I paid $50 for five minutes of dancing, which included a couple of minutes of nudity, and a few instants of minimal contact.