Saturday's All Right For Lapping...

While the sign by the door says operating hours start at 11 (and, before COVID, that was absolutely true), nowadays the only thing happening from 11-12 here is the Cuban queue of carpools dropping off our favorite refugees 2, 3, or 4 at a time. They do open at 12, of course no cover, no pat down and kick a buck or two to one of the bouncers who escorts you to your table.

Early on, the club is predominantly filled with the aforementioned Cubanas, clustered around the useless pole by the wall or the table directly across from it. As more girls roll in, everyone gets greeted with a hug and a kiss. My waitress comes by without me having to order, knowing I'm having a 2-for-1 $4 Coke which, for me, acts more as a placeholder for my table than as actual refreshment. The Cokes, frankly, have been absolutely dreadful of late, so hopefully someone there figures out the right syrup-to-fizzy water ratio soon.

All floor dances are $10, and mileage for floor dances is about as good as can be found in this town, just be subtle and not a dumbass and you'll enjoy yourself a lot more. VIPs are $30 apiece, pricey but worthwhile with the right partner.