Off night at 5th. Way off.

Stopped in at 5th Ave after one beer and out at Ragtime. About 6:30 or so on Saturday. Looked busy with lots of cars on the street, but I got lucky with a spot right across from the bar. To park on that side you pull up onto the curb/sidewalk, but it’s easy because the street must have been paved over enough that the curb is like two inches. Inside it’s a long tunnel-like place with the bar and a “sort of” stage that never gets used running the whole length on the right. Probably could seat 40 front to back. This night there were maybe 10 girls and a dozen customers.

I don’t know if the lady’s bathroom is out of order, but what used to be the men’s room now has one of those male/female signs on it. Just as I was about to go in there, the door swung open and one of the girls came out. There was piss all over the toilet seat, which I assume was from her, because there’s also a urinal. Come to think of it, the lady’s changing room is now being used for LDs so maybe that’s the reason for the unisex bathroom. They don’t want to interrupt the VIP business? But this night there wasn’t any of that kind of business going on.

I sat down toward the back and got a $7 Heineken. That’s where I usually sit because it’s less crowded, plus you get to survey the room a bit on the way there. Well, on this particular evening, I kind of wished I hadn’t taken such a good look. The place really is the definition of “hit or miss” and last night was a HUGE miss. Of the maybe 10 girls, half were the permanent fixtures that have been there for ages. One I call Mashed Potato Face looked like she might have lost a couple pounds, but trust me, I’ve felt her ass and tits before and no matter how much she loses, it’s not gonna help. Possibly the opposite. Another one is a gigantic fat girl. It’s a shame because she has a pretty face and she’s always smiling with a bubbly personality. But oh shit, she is enormous. I think she’s about five feet tall and must be 250 lbs. Not kidding. I swear her ass cheeks are the size of garbage can lids.