A Very Bad Review of a Very Bad Club

A friend largely kidnapped me and insisted we go to Tropical Lei, which is way the hell out in Upland and even in its best days, was never worth the drive. If I lived across the street. I might even avoid it. He wanted to go there because he heard it offered the highest mileage in Southern California outside of City of Industry and I guess if that's all you care about, it's an okay place.

There was no convenient parking so he found a space a few blocks away. Admission was $20 and we were wanded by a guy who acted like we might be smuggling in nuclear weaponry. It was dark and from what I could see of the furnishing, it was good you couldn't clearly see what you were sitting on. A dancer immediately pounced on us to try and sell us private dancers and when we said "We just got here," she switched to the buy-the-lady-a-drink hustle. I couldn't describe her to you because my eyes hadn't adjusted yet to the dimly lit interior.

I hadn't been here since 2018 so I couldn't tell you what's changed since then but it's certainly not the mood or the low quality of the dancers. I'm sure there are some there at times I'd find attractive but there weren't any this time. Most had too many tats for my taste but even if they hadn't had writing all over them, most of the ladies did not appeal to me. I like some conversation and friendliness and the ladies who stopped by to sell us were interested in making that sale and nothing else. There were topless dances for $20 and more naked ones for $40 and the back room is $120 for three songs but all the ladies who brought up the back room option made clear that just paid for the room and the quality of what went on in there was dependent on the tip and one said, making it real clear, "IN ADVANCE". To put it simply, I just didn't see anyone who interested me.