An Utter Embarrassment to the Franchise

Dropped by here after my flight into Burbank and this was probably one of the worst visits I’ve ever had at a club. In fact, I’m embarrassed for this club as not only does the place continue to be ran by complete imbeciles, but the talent pool has declined SIGNIFICANTLY since my last visit. In fact, the same “slow” door guy and manager were there from last time, albeit he seemed to have calmed down since my last visit - maybe he read my review. Came in around 9:30 pm to a completely empty parking garage - and the only silver lining might be the free valet, other than that this place is more like an escape from reality into more reality rather than an escape from reality. Paid the guy 30 (a ripoff for a dead club) after I “valeted” my car.

Sat down and saw a tatted white girl dancing to a near empty club with a glow in the dark butt plug. That was probably the highlight of the night. Tipped her some cash and was met by a thick white girl named “Charm” who looked like a Coco Austin knock off. Enhanced everything, which I really don’t like but give I’ll give her an 8 for the ass, which resembled something you might see in Brazil. Her face didn’t really move because of all the Botox injections, and her personality wasn’t the most dynamic. I mean, how many times can you ask someone, “how often do you come here” and “what brings you out tonight?” Blah blah blah. Boring. Ok, I don’t expect you to be an exceptional conversationalist at the club but at least make it interesting. Detected very strong ROB/GPS vibes from her so passed on the dance - maybe she wasn’t a ROB but I wasn’t itching to find out. After I declined, I heard her tell another dancer that I was just “cheap” as she walked away. LMAO - glad I made the right decision. Next.

Then was approached by a highly annoying “porn star” named Ziggy who decided she’d make it known every 2 minutes that she was a “porn star” and we could have an awesome time in the back. Didn’t really give a flying f about the porn star pitch as the shiny veneer and glamour of that industry died 2 decades ago. I do give her an A for creativity for telling me that she massages the scrotums of men with testicular cancer in her spare time. Yes, she really told me that. I’ve now heard it all. I did find her mildly amusing so I decided to try her out in the back (15 minutes for 100) as it was slim pickens anyways. Big mistake. During the dance, she went on and on about how I should watch her movies and how I had apparently pissed off the D list Coco Austin in the dressing room for being a “cheap a-hole” as she had put it. When I told her I didn’t give a flying f, she still went on and on about it as she was giving me the dance. Not to mention her stomach looked like a flat tire. I actually cut the dance short because I just couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t think I’ve ever ran out of a club fast enough. At least my AMEX got some rest for the night. I’m done here. Don’t think I’ll ever come back.