Not like the old Lido

Wanted to love the new Lido but at last everything changes after the pandemic. First off for a strip club it’s literally all the way west in the middle of 51st street and 15th avenue. I say 15 because it felt like a freaking trek to get to the club. It’s off the highway. My buddy decided to walk from timesquare here by the time we realized it was super far west we were out of the tourist zone where all the cabs were so we just said fuck it.. let’s keep on treking for them booties. FYI we are not out of shape or fat dudes so when we arrived was really exhausted but still excited so my first drank I ordered was WATER because I needed it. However, the bartender looked at us like cheap mofos for starting out with water. Felt the negative vibes immediately. Hey man, let me catch my breath and water me up before I get to the hard liquor.

After sitting down a few moments we realized there was no one around for a Friday night.. (11pm), but I figured it’s a late night so stuck around. By midnight I ordered a few more drinks and talked to the same girls again. I said fuck it, i’m pretty drunk so the 5’s were looking more like an 8 and I couldn’t wait for the later night shift strippers to come in. So got a few dances from a white chick? Mixed? Not shabby, good ass, nice hip motion, nothing horrible. Until she switched positions and dry humped me. The most awkward dry hump I’ve ever experienced. You would think horny ol drunk me was gonna give her a pass at that but noooo just nooo. I politely paid the dancer for all the songs and went back to my seat. Had to awkwardly shove her off.

My buddy disappeared longer than I did so I assumed he was having a brilliant time. As I chatted to the other girls the crowd stayed the same. No new guys and no new girls. It didn’t feel like a “hit” crowd, more lame and tame if you’re into that. Stage presence was nonexistent. Just zero entertainment value.