25 or 6 to 4 (multiply all those numbers for the price of your air dance)

Chicago. Great city. Great food. You know what I think of this city as fat titty girl city it must be all those Italian beefs and polish sausage diet that gives some of these girls big titties. That accent can be difficult to deal with though let’s keep it real. Anyway I was in Chicago staying downtown without a car (many rental places are out of stock or if they do they are charging crazy rates right now, it’s cool I’ll walk) and the only strip club in the area looked like Rick’s so that was really the only option for me.

Came in on a Tuesday night just after midnight. Cover was $20 free for military. The front people were nice. This is a nice club definitely. I didn’t think the area seemed bad at all. Right by Goose Island of the IPA fame. Set up was one oval stage. Bar on the right. Bathrooms on the left. Dance areas past all that in the back. $25 for a dance. Going in I knew that was likely an air dance or at best one way touch. Even my Uber driver warned me about this places mileage and he hardly knew English. The bartender told me VIP was $250 for a half hour. I’m just gonna be honest I wasn’t touching any of that with the rep of this place unless the girl was insanely hot.

Lineup was just average I thought. A bunch of 6-7’s. Mostly white girls and one black girl. Maybe 7 dancers or so. I talked to the one black girl with an Afro, Rhianna. I don’t want to sound mean but she was probably on the spectrum, it was an odd conversation about her rap career. But she was a unique personality definitely. There is also a time where the showgirls come out, two of them with light sticks and champagne bottles, was it a special I don’t fucking know I didn’t get it.