Like Cheers, but with smoke and boobs

Stop 2 of the Saturday afternoon Akron crawl. You can count on CW’s during the day for several sure things: a fog of cigarette smoke, at least a couple of plus-size dancers, at least one who is way too old to still be doing this, a hot barmaid, and Lynn being by far the class of the field.

The layout: If you can get a space in the parking lot, you’re starting out lucky. It’s a tiny gravel lot that fills up fast. Street parking isn’t too inviting. Not the best neighborhood. It helps that you can keep an eye on your car via a couple of outdoor security cameras with video feed displayed above the bar, but I always feel like I’m going to get distracted and miss something important and expensive. Hasn’t happened yet, but I’m always glad when I actually get a space in the lot. Inside, you get an opportunity to hurt yourself right away, with a step down from the entryway into the bar itself. Nobody ever misses it, because everybody there is some kind of regular. I stop in once a month and still feel like an outsider. It’s like a way downscale version of Cheers, with tits all over the place. The clientele is blue collar and overwhelmingly white. The dancers are, too. There was a black girl who danced there as recently as a couple of years ago, but she was the only POC I've ever seen there. Don't know if that's by design, but it's noticeable. The bar is on the left as you walk in. There are a couple of free-standing tables on the right. There’s a pool table all the way in back that hardly ever gets used. And there’s a stage back there than never, ever gets used. All business is done at the bar. Drinks are cheap. My Coke was maybe a buck and a half and a drink I bought for one of the girls was $4.

The dancers aren’t shy. They might pull up your shirt and rub on you. They might reach in your pants and explore. One gave me the shush sign and sang a verse of Billy Joel right there at the bar. I love shorts weather at CWs. None of the dancers are knockouts. They average 3 or 4 and they tend to carry a bit of extra weight, but they all drive stick, which is nice. And then there’s Lynn, who is usually the one and only fit one. She’s a keeper. Dark hair, cute face, sexy smile, energetic dancer. For me, a 7 who gets extra points for personality and sweetness. She is always busy, either dancing or sitting with a customer. She’s probably the least adventurous dancer, both barside and VIP. At least she has been with me. But she’s such a refreshing change from the “type” found in CW’s that I don’t mind. Second favorite is blonde Kelly. Her barside dances are great and roaming hands don't bother her. May is also very good, though she hasn't been there the last few times I've been in.

I've done VIPs there, but not for quite a while. I don't remember cost details. Assuming they haven't rearranged the area, you're in a glorified closet in an old cloth upholstered armchair. There's enough room for the girl to stand up, turn around and lean over, and that's about it.

CWs will stay on the route for the foreseeable future. I don’t usually stay very long, but it’s usually worth the check in.