The British are coming

Was in London this past weekend on business, so decided to tryout a gentleman's club. I googled top bars in London and Sophisticats was rated one of the best. so Got in a taxi around 1 am leaving from my hotel in downtown london which cost be around 17 pounds. Arrived the place looked really posh from the outside. As i was walking in i was stopped by two security guards for a pat down. i asked them how much is cover there asked me to wait outside for the owner to walk me in. this was going to be really good or really bad. there heard my american accent and immediatly told me that this is totally different than american bars. 3 mins later the owner came out walked me in and told me 10 cover plus coat check. when inside i go to pay the cashier she said 20 pounds. i look at the owner he walked away. payed another 15 pounds for coat check. i then was greeted then by a waitress and given a seat near the stage. it was one pole in the middle of the room with with 6 patrons and 6 entertainers. this place felt like some frat guys paid some random sorority girls to do a show in there living room. The girls where hot but couldn't entertain they couldn't dance at all they most just walked around the pole for 3 songs and got off. after the first set the waiter came over and asked my drink order, yes waiter. i have never seen a man waiter in strip club in the states. on whiskey sour was 22 pounds which is $28 usd. after i order my drink two tall blonds came over one was a 7 the other one a 6 also about 40 plus years old. We talked awhile they wanted me to take them both to the vip for 400 pounds apiece 1000 usd. i was in london and wanted to party but they were not hot enough, so i sent them away. 5 mins later i was approached buy a older Brazilian woman was about a 7 but i was like wtf i want to know if extras can be had at this place because i only have seen vip dance no dances on the floor. we chat for awhile she ask for a drink, so i buy 2 whiskey sours 44 pounds. after we finish the drink she ask for a vip dance. i ask her how much she says 400 ponds. i ask he what happens in the vip she said a intimate conversation and maybe a back message. i decide to cut my loses with this place. she begged for a floor dance which i didn't think happened here because no one else got a floor dance. but got 1 floor dance just for bragging rights 20 pounds. Had to be the worst i mean worst lap dance i have ever received, this girl couldn't square dance lol. I had to leave because i started to laugh as she was dancing just walked out in the middle of the dance didn't even finish. if you use to bars in North America or Latin America don't visit this place waste of time and money, you won't enjoy star far away.