Not worth the cover, no nude dancers

I was in the area on a Saturday night and figured I'd check out a new to me club.

The sign outside says they open at 4 and that there is free admission till 6... I was there at 5 and the place was locked, so I left and returned much later. I got there around 10 payed the $16 cover and walked in. There were probably 3 or 4 patrons and I think I saw 3 dancers.

The space is nice enough... large dance floor in the middle of the room and plenty of seats around it. There is a bar but no booze, you can bring your own, because the place is supposed to be a nude club. Unlike other nude places there was no drink minimum. Unfortunately they don't advertise this so be warned.

On the far side from the bar is the private dance area behind a privacy wall, and I was told there is a VIP somewhere.

The only woman on stage was wearing a bikini that I honestly wished was bigger. She was covered in the worst tattoos I've seen, poorly drawn and generally off putting on her never seen the sun skin. She couldn't dance, had trouble keeping rhythm and wasn't much of a conversationalist. After putting a few bills in her g-string a better looking dancer came over. She was very dark skinned, had the body of a female bodybuilder, and an accent from the UK and was a talker. She was happy to rub her beautiful and surprisingly soft boobs all over my face for a few $$. She made small talk and suggested a private dance, it would be $20 per dance and she'd be happy to go the extra mile back there. I saw a third dancer, she was young and pretty but didn't come over or get on stage and from a 3/4 angle she looked thick in the middle like maybe she was 5-6 months preggo. Unfortunately my buddy was getting nauseous from his interaction with the first dancer and there was no liquor to strengthen his resolve, so he called an end to the experiment before I had a chance to see what the LD was like.