This is the last time the owner (Jerome) will beat me out of time on a couch dance!

Although I've been a patron of this establishment through its incarnations over the years (Woods East and Sensations) this will be my last visit ever to this shithole. On Tuesday (the date of my visit) Pole Position advertises its ambiguous "2 for Tuesday" and "Fat Ass Tuesdays" price "specials". It's a scam. The timing of the dances is drastically reduced then doubled. For instance, I believe a regular couch dance is $25.00 for 4 minutes. On their bogus "2 for Tuesday" the time is cut all the way down to 2.5 minutes then doubled to five minutes and the price raised to $35.00. On these "special" nights a V.I.P. dance is 4 minutes long, which they increase to eight or nine minutes for $85.00 or $90.00. I thought they regularly were 10 minutes. Champagne Courts (ha! it's just a dance in the same cubicle for a longer period) are just as unclearly priced and management couldn't give me a straight answer on the timing. I think during the day they're $100.00 for 15 minutes, then $150.00 at night and/or weekends. The prices change at the whim of the owner literally from one hour to the next! That's why the prices are printed on sheets of paper laid on the bar. "Fat Ass Tuesdays" pricing is just as nonsensical. It's the only price advertised on their Facebook page and goes like this: $90.00 for 12 minutes, $140.00 for 22 minutes and $200.00 for 32 minutes. From 12 to 22 minutes the price increases $50.00, but from 22 to 32 minutes it jumps $60.00. Are you confused yet? On the night I went they were only offering these dances for $140.00 and up. I opted for the $140.00 "deal". When I approached the owner saying I wanted the 22 minutes for $140.00 dance he hemmed and hawed then "allowed" me to have the dance at that price. Yes, he's that much of an asshole. (Mind you, it was a rainy night and all but the barmaid and one dancer called out sick, and there were only three customers in the bar and he was lucky to have them.) I carefully noted the time on the clock (10:22 p.m.) and was ready for my dance with my regular who lets me do anything I want to her in the back. At 10:40 there was a knock on the door telling us our time was up. Adding 22 minutes to 10:22 is simple math and I clearly was beaten out of 4 minutes. This is not the first time, but it certainly is the last. On my previous dance several months ago I was beaten out of five minutes on a ten-minute dance. The dancer that night and the one on duty this night admitted that Jerome routinely cheats customers out of couch dance time.

Frequently on Tuesdays, the bar will advertise eight dancers during the day and seven at night. Bullshit! On this night there was only one dancer the entire night. And, I believe she danced only two or three sets the entire time that I was there (over two hours). I saw three guys enter with a case of beer, pay the cover charge, and sit at the bar for a good half hour without seeing a single dancer. And no, their cover charge wasn't refunded when they walked out likely never to return.

Do not believe any of the hype on their Facebook page. They did not "fire the ugly one" or make any renovations whatsoever. They're lucky to get anyone to work for them, and dancers often leave in droves because management does not know how to run a bar or treat their customers right. Most of the girls who work there are junkies or alcoholics who engage in prostitution to finance their habits. Eyes are watching this bar so be careful. I'm saying this as a public service announcement because the last few times I visited or passed by a Hamilton Township police car was in the immediate vicinity and apparently undercover agents are keeping a watchful eye. There's no one here worth getting busted over so I'm going to scram and suggest you do the same!