Sinclair's Review

I went to Private Eyes on Saturday night around 23:30. There was no cover to get in or an ID check. The club has two island stages. The bar is on the left as you enter. A beer was $6.50. Sodas are Pepsi and 7UP products and $5. A bottle of water is also $5. There were two blonde waitresses working, but they were not overly pesky to make you buy drinks. The club has a kitchen off in one of the side room if you are hungry. The clientele was mainly blue collar white guys, which makes sense being close to the Welland Canal. If you make any effort to dress up or smell good, you will stand out.

There were around a dozen dancers working. Eleven of the dancers would be 1-5 on my scale with one skinny blonde rating a 7. Out of all of the clubs in the area, Private Eyes seemed to have the weakest talent, but the best possibility of extras. Just about all of the dancers seemed to be in their 30’s and 40’s. There were two African, one Chinese, a few Eastern Europeans, five Anglo Canadians, and one French Canadian who looked to be about 50 years old. Some of the dancers were too porky or messed up from childbirth to take a second look at.

I took the 7 for a few lap dances to see how things work here. Lap dances take place in little cubicles built out of divider panels. Each cubicle has a loveseat and is fairly dark. Lap dances are $20 per song. As soon as the first song started, the dancer got completely naked and told me to pull down my pants. She grabbed my joystick and started worshipping it: kissing and licking, then later stroking it. I was just expecting a regular lap dance, but went along with the foreplay! By the second song, she guided my hand to her beaver and told me to fingerblast her. During the second song, I was doing Russian on her D cup breasts. Things had progressed much further than I expected, and I did not want to be sticky for the rest of the night, so I paid her $40 for the dances. She demanded a twenty dollar tip, but I just tossed her a ten dollar note and walked off. Obviously, she was going to string me out for a few more songs and finish me off orally or manually, but I needed to save my energy for a long night of partying.