Your Schlong Will Be Happy After A Visit To Suzy Wong's Agogo

Patong Beach on the island of Phuket has the three things I look for when I go on vacation- sun, surf and... lots of strip clubs! After visiting about a half dozen of those clubs I would crown Suzy Wong's as hands down the best. It had the best looking ladies, the most upbeat vibe and all the girls got totally naked on stage. It also felt more relaxed than the other clubs as I didn't feel hounded to buy drinks or "services".

The club is located about three quarters of the way down Soi Sea Dragon on the right-side. Out front it is lit up with neon lighting and looks like a good old fashioned whorehouse in Chinatown. Be aware there's also another club with a neon sign that says "Suzy Wong 2" that is on the same side of the alley but closer to Bangla Road. Don't get confused by this club as the ladies there were not nearly as good looking as the main Suzy Wong club down the Soi (alley).

As I entered through the red curtain into the club I was intercepted by a waitress that guided me to a seat which is pretty much standard practice at all Thai gogo bars. Also as is standard there's no admission fee but everyone must immediately purchase a drink, which in my case was a 180 Baht (about US $5) bottle of beer. Unlike most Bangkok clubs there's no tab system, instead you pay the waitress as soon as you get each drink. It's a medium size club inside with an elevated rectangular stage in the middle and booth seating (like at a diner) along the walls. The waitress sat me on one of the stools directly at the stage. There's no real bar seating as the small bar off to the left as you enter is only used by the ladies to order and pick up "lady drinks" (soft drinks that the ladies get a kickback for getting mongers to buy them). The patrons were a diverse mix of westerners, Thais, other Asians, a few shady looking Arab looking dudes... On average a younger crowd than seen at the Bangkok clubs. Quite a few looked like college kids or kids doing their gap year adventure (although there was a sign saying you had to be at least 20 to enter). Also a mix of solo custies and groups. This is the only strip club in Patong that to me felt couple friendly as it's the only one where I saw a few female patrons accompanying their man. As far as safety, I felt very safe here as even on a week night there were tons of people both inside the club and in the Soi (alley) outside. Also the whole Soi Dragon complex is an integral part of the Bangla Road entertainment zone with lots of people around at all times and plenty of security/tourist police (including what looked like deputized Australian and British cops) patrolling the Soi and Bangla Road.