Why won't Hialeah let me be great?

Curiosity killed the cat. And a lust for La Culona (Girls with big booties), will drag a PL to a lot of weird places. I've read quite a few mediocre reviews of this place, but thick asses seems to be a common denominator in the reviews, so when afternoon traffic led me on Okeechobee road, I decided to take a detour to check out Erotica Cabaret.

First thing about EC is that there really isn't any parking. Most of the parking seems to be outside of a sketchy sex motel next door, making a sketchy strip club visit even sketchier. I arrived a little after 6pm. A light pat down at the door, and no cover. Even though it was past their listed happy hour time (3-6pm), they still gave me the happy hour special on the beer at 3.00, which I appreciated. The club is small, probably the smallest I've seen down here (though there are still some dives I've not been to). There is one oval shaped stage in the center with one pole. On one side is a small bar, and the rest of the club is chair & table seating. From the reviews the club apparently went through some renovations, and it actually looks pretty good inside, chairs are comparable to a more upscale club. The Girls do two dances on stage, eventually getting topless (but not nude) during the second song. Stage dancing is acceptable for the slight crowd and subdued atmosphere. No zombie walking, but no one is putting forth too much effort. There were 7 dancers at this time of day and 5 customers. A couple of girls were sitting with customers, but most were sitting by themselves - bored out of their minds. After the dances the girls do a tip walk, but with the paucity of customers the hustle isn't that hard. Music was exclusively reggaeton.

I was really on solely a scouting mission to check out the club, so I sat at the bar, with a full on resting dick face, trying to keep any potential drink hustle off of me. The girls were a little more on the meaty side. Very little plastic, mostly natural curves. Only one that I thought was pretty. Wasn't really anything that really moved me. One of the bartenders, may have been the best one in the club, maybe because she had a huuuuuge fake ass, and I admit that I watched that thing walk around the bar more than I paid attention to the stage shows. The girls just seemed like neighborhood girls, kind of similar to what I saw at Bellas. After a while seeing as how nothing was pulling me into getting dances or wanting to linger with, I decided to leave.