very pleasantly surprised

This club, Hot Bodies, has recently been renamed as Divas Men’s Club. Their website advertises them as “Austin’s newest BYOB gentlemen’s club.” From speaking with one of the girls, it’s the same club, same management. There’s no evidence of any renovation in some time. My regular club in Austin is the Landing Strip. Last month, with Divas advertising $5 dances all day on Wednesdays, I decided to reacquaint myself with all-nude stripping. Although I prefer edgy, even dicey strip clubs, I was put off at first. The club’s in a low, shed-like building in a deserted warehouse district.

The front is well lit but unimpressive. When I got out of the car, an old man came up, told me parking would be $5, and said he would “watch” my car (later he was emptying a trash bin inside the club, so “watching” isn’t continuous). Inside, a no-nonsense guy at the counter explained the cover was $15. VIP was an additional $20 at the door, or $35 extra (on top of the $15) if I upgraded later. Fearing a hustle, I stupidly (as it turned out) paid only the cover. A wristband indicates what areas of the club you have access to.

Inside is a large, dull, dingy rectangular space with a large stage on one wall. The other long wall opposite has a railing that partially obscures an even more dingy VIP area. There’s a second VIP area that I did not see. There are two side stages at the ends, with only one being used while I was there. Three or four big-screen TVs are mounted high around the room, with one showing Mexican pro wrestling. All the music is Spanish-language rap, which was fine with me. A lighting system with two or three sources shines narrow spotlight cones here and there around the room, each cone jerking strobe-like from one position to the next in an unchanging pattern. There are tables scattered in a wide U around the main stage, each with three generously large upholstered chairs of dubious cleanliness (the condition of the carpet as well). There was one waitress (pleasant, no-pressure, dressed kind of like a mom taking her kids to the park). I paid $4 for a 16-ounce glass bottle of Mexican fizzy mineral water as a mixer for my brown-bag gin (no tonic available). She fetched the mineral water from a large glass-front beverage vending machine at one end of the room. A glass to mix my drink in would have cost another $4 so I declined after asking about it, and instead occasionally poured more gin into the neck of the bottle as I drank. I didn’t ask about ice.