MY EYES!

Please stab me in my eyes. I went to this strip club excited. I have been cooped up for the past few weeks. Visions of bouncing boobs and juggling asses were racing through my mind as my anticipation heightened. I opened the front door looked at the stage where a topless dancer was mangling the pole. My first thought was that she will never touch my pole.

I am not proud to say this but she really did have the aftermath of triple pregnancies. Stretch marks went all the way to Minnesota. Her nipples were covered by the insoles of her feet and this is the first time ever in a strip club where pasties were not enough. This is a very sad commentary on a club that once rocked 7 days a week non stop. This place could be a bus stop for soldiers who received a dishonorable discharge. If i was in the military i would have this stripper run in front of my jeep looking for land mines.

Ugly is too kind of word to describe her. This is a woman who is so ugly she had to sneak up on a glass of water. You could cut a rubberband and attach each end to her ears behind her head and send her out for Halloween. The other girls would have definitely received more candy than her even if they walked backwards. So if you really dislike yourself or want a miserable time come to the club. Instead of bringing dollars bring quarters so you can make it rain. She will love you for it.