Oh. My. God.

So I went up to St Louis for a Cards game and figured I'd give the Washington Park clubs a try for the first time ever. First of all, a word of warning, when you exit the freeway and drive into the town of Washington Park, you immediately realize this my literally be poorest town in America. I've been to third-world places like Manila, Philippines and this made Manila look like Beverly Hills. Houses that are barely standing and have boarded windows or iron bars on the windows. Folks wandering around looking like the living dead. I almost got back on the freeway.

Decided to try Dollies since it's the home of the famous $50 bj. Gravel parking lot had potholes big enough to drive a Sherman tank into. I think there are some skeletal remains of former customers who never made it out of the potholes. Place is a big tin warehouse. Walk in, pay my $2 cover charge to the 90 year old doorman who was pretty friendly.

Place reeks of sweat and despair. Sit down at a little table do immediately one of the ugliest women I've ever seen in my life sits next to me and starts rubbing my crotch, asking me to go back with her for fun. I would have rather gotten a bj from my mom or possibly Rosie O'Donnell. I wave her away. Order a $4 beer at the bar which comes in a tiny plastic cup that is probably carrying Ebola.