if you don't show it, why do you ask it?

My scientific research for "La Culona" led me to the Pink Pony in Tampa. If you don't feel like reading the rest of the review, here is a two word summary "bad system". I arrived at PP at about 10:30 Saturday night. Club was kinda sparse but there was a crowd, and at this point the dancers outnumbered the customers. Most of the dancers were sitting back near the entrance to the friction room chatting & smoking. Probably about 20 maybe a shade over that. Dancers were not yet circling the club, which is always a bad thing when there is only one stage. If you don't like the girl on stage at that time, then there is literally nothing to look at. 20.00 admission, which I guess is the going rate for the juice bar scene, though I hadn't really shopped around. Club is a lot smaller than it looks from the outside as a good deal of the club is set up for champagne rooms & friction booths. Half of the club is roped off behind the bar. I sit down at the bar and order a, a juice? whatever the fuck it is you order at these places. I don't go to these places to get my drink on, but when faced with getting a cranberry & not a beer it did feel rather weird. Not much seating out on the floor a long stage comes through the middle. Dancers do a three song rotation, which I think it supposed to be clothed, topless then nude, but a decent amount of girls seem to do whatever they want: some will be topless during the first song, and some never take their bottoms off. Stage shows are actually pretty good. Uniformly girls danced, and some did some decent pole tricks. With the club not quite hopping just yet, and not many stage tips coming down I could see some girls being lazy, but they all put in a good effort. A skinny one, that I would usually not be to interested in, caught my attention with some nice ass throwing, so I thought it may end up being that "spinners" night that I've always contemplated.

Girls themselves were in that 6-8 range, about 60% Latin (mostly seeming Cuban) and the rest mostly White with a few AAs, thrown in. On or two on the thicker side but girls were generally slim. Some with some tattoos, but generally not too crazy. Not too long after I'm at the bar a tatted up white girl sits next to me, and before she could get the hint that I'm not interested, threw her leg over my lap. She said the club usually gets jumping at about 3am after the regular clubs let out. Not too soon after she got the hint & left two curvy, but not overblown cubanas come up to me with a little chat and offer me off the bat a dance with both of them. Seeing as how I'd already kind of written off the club, and was willing try a "fuck it" double dance then be out, I told them yes, but in 30 minutes (I always keep track of time too, and seeing if they keep their promise. They never do, but I'm always on the lookout for that unicorn, the punctual stripper). Not too long after they leave a group of guys come in and head over to the roped off portion. Apparently this has been reserved for a group (there was a mardigras type event in town on this day and a lot of people coming from that). Gradually that area which has some VIP type booths and a second pole, starts filling up, and the small pole has 2-3 girls at a time, really throwing it on the smaller stage. More and more custies showed up to that section and I noticed girls, not dancing, but sticking their head in to see what was up. I guess that's where the money was spending. Feel like I need to make some new friends, because this is where the action was. Eventually they position a few girls by the front door to scream HEY every time some people come in. Nice enough, but it's cold as balls out, which you feel every time the door opens, blasting onto these slim girls in bikinis. The girls are beginning to move around the club more at this point so I finally get to check them out. Nothing is really making me say, I have to have that, although the asses on those two cubans are really popping out as I watch them walk the floor. So I decide I'm going to get my two on one, or just one of them and get out to the next club on the agenda. Eventually the less attractive one, but with the bigger ass comes over to me and we head off to the dance. go back into the "friction room" and there is a check point. guy says its 10.00 to enter - apparently you can get as many dances as you want for that ten once your back there, but each time you come in, it's another 10 (I think they sell an unlimited wrist band but that option wasn't mentioned to me). The booths back there, (which are cordoned off full couches-not a bad LD set up) are not visible to the attendant. So, while I understand this system, because he can't see back there and count dances, I really think it ends up hurting the girls. Also was a sign explaining the rates for the champagne room. 20 mins -$200, 30mins $300, 60 mins $600. I found these prices to be outrageous. The girl asked me if I wanted a dance here or in the rooms, and explained the prices. She told me the dances were better there, but didn't explain to me why they were better or if she needed any additional funds to make the dance even better. Got the dance, full nude (which I'm not used to as they have bikini bottoms in my regular clubs), which is interesting but at the end of the day doesn't do that much for me. The dance itself is pretty garbage. Not impressed at all, and certainly not interested in putting down 600 for an hour of whatever. Here is where the girl loses out in my opinion. Even when I get a bad dance I tip. But here, were I'm down 10 bills just to walk in, and her fee is 25. I'm just not going to pay over 35 for a bad dance. It just seems like a bad system, if I really wanted to run through a sampling of dancers, at 10 a pop just to go in? No way. Plus it's not like you know what you're getting into, in my case, I walked in with a dud. Do I want to risk another 35 just to take another risk? No. It did seem like the champagne room is a big feature here, although I was never told what would make it so special. Just didn't seem like this club was a good value. If I'm back in the area, I doubt I would come here again.

Pros: Decent variety of girls, good stage shows. The club is close to the Mons, 2001, Scores & probably a few others that I'm not familiar with. Definitely different girls that you'd see at Mons or from what I remember at 2001.