I'd only been to this club...

I'd only been to this club once in maybe three or four years but went in on Saturday night. $20 cover, now they give you a paper armband so you can come and go for the night. For a while if you left the club to go to the private rooms, they charged another $2. The money's not the issue, but it seemed cheezy. It was mostly young guys and bachelor parties, a couple of guys in their 50s by the walls. Got talking to a couple of guys on my walk to the El afterwards (don't drink and drive, also the walk sobers you up) and it had been their first night ever at a strip club. Was I ever that young? Anyway, the important thing: the girls.

There were a lot of women customers. Gotta love that. One was sitting by and on her boyfriend next to me, then he left to take a leak. A guy walks up and starts dryhumping his girlfriend, and after maybe 30 seconds she turns and says, hey, I'm not a dancer! Then the boyfriend comes back and they have a laugh. But the female customers were all young and mostly hot, and all seemed to be into it. The dancers looked like they averaged 19, mostly natural breasts. All looked mostly bored on stage. No dancing because they get tips by sitting and spreading, and having guys throw wadded up dollar bills trying for a hole in one. Didn't see any I especially wanted to get a private with. The place was crowded, seemed like even fewer dancers than I expected from past visits. But the way this place works, the club lives off the cover and there are few patrons getting dances, so it's always got way more guys than dancers. So basically it's a strip club chock full of testosterone. And you really need to keep your hands in your pants or drunk guys will be bumping into your hand at your side. Weird and a little disturbing, even though I think it's accidental.

On the way out I stop by the men's room in the dirty book section to take a piss, open the door, and there's two guys hugging (dressed, thankfully). So I need to piss, I'm wondering should I close the door and pretend nothing happened. Or walk past them and take my piss and leave? When they part and one says, don't worry, you aren't interrupting anything. So I finally get to a urinal, and somebody's barfed all over the floor. All over it. F-ing frat boys.