Where It's A Party, No Matter The Time Of Day

I have heard a lot about the strip club scene in Atlanta. It was high time for me to go to a city in the U.S. I haven’t been to before, and the combination of the Braves playing their final season at Turner Field and Southwest having a sale that made it as cheap as it probably will ever get to fly back-and-forth non-stop, and I finally made my sojourn to that city in late July – when it was hot and sticky and there were bursts of rain nearly every afternoon. People routinely mock Minnesota winters – “Who would ever live in a place where it snows that much and where it’s that cold?!” Well, I wonder why in the hell do people live in a city where you’re wet outside your clothes because you got caught in a summer squall and you’re wet inside your clothes because your private parts are sweating like a motherfucker. Not to mention the horrendous traffic in Atlanta. Come on, Capital of the South, haven’t you heard of urban planning? But I digress.

Follies and, I think, most of the strip clubs in the city lie in the northern half of Fulton County. Sucked for me since Priceline gave me a hotel in extreme southern Fulton County, not only because I had to schlep a long ways to get to the strip clubs I wanted to go, but it was also a haul to go to the “fun” part of Atlanta, which also seemed to lie in the northern half of Fulton County. So you do need to at least look at Google Maps and note the time and pace of your drive when you want to go; it might be a lot longer than you think it would be.

I went to Follies in the afternoon, and after driving through the county and getting lost, I saw it, making a dent in a fairly wooded side of the Buford Highway, right across the street from a supermercado. I may have mistaken it for a used car lot. My goodness gracious, it looked like every available spot was taken. There was a valet that would take cars at $15 a pop, but I don’t think even they had space left. When I drove up they told me I was shit out of luck, so I drove to the parking lot at the Mexican grocery store and walked across. No goddamn way I was going to pay for valet, especially during the day.