Only a Paper Moon

This was better than I expected for being in the poontang desert of Northern Virginia, but as others have said, not really a great value. I was in the Springfield area after a conference and was in a rare shirt, tie and suit pants mode. Stopped by after going for some good food at Hard Times Cafe nearby. The Paper Moon building has an empty space at the corner, but otherwise is not rundown, and is fairly close to other busy areas in what passes for "downtown" Springfield, not in an industrial park or anything. They reserve parking spaces in front of the entrance, God knows why.....until they saw my European car, waved me in and suggested I park it up front. I guess a certain foreign car in front makes the place look more upscale. But it was Thursday at 7:15 and they only asked $5 cover, which is tolerable. I've heard the cover at other times is ridiculous. They check your ID but no X-ray or scan. The club has a bar, two small stages and a lot of cushy tables crammed between the stages and along the window. The men's bathroom interestingly is off the entrance (you have to go back out the door) and has an attendant (what is this, Atlanta?). The dancer dressing / meeting area is behind the bar. Overall, very clean, a couple flat TV screens, definitely a little bit of investment made here.

A Stella was $7 (not cheap, but not nearly as expensive as that drink in SFO the other night). Nothing on tap, all bottled beers. A shot with a Red Bull for $15 was on the steep side.

On this night, lots of waitresses and two bartenders, pretty decent looking (7-7.5). The dancers ranged from 7 to 8.5, and there were a lot of them, definitely not "hole-in-the-wall" quality. Tonight they were mostly Caucasian with a few Latina and Asian. Private dances, on the other hand, are a bit on the steep side. The private dances are at a long, wide room in back (you pay the guy at the register in that room first and a "menu" of prices sits next to the register). Although there are apparently $20 table dances (no touch), the back room gets you 2-for-$60 (1-way touch supposedly)), 3-for-$100 (1-way touch supposedly), 10 min for $150 (2-way touch), and up from there (a private "champagne" room is $400 for 30 min, easily as expensive as I've seen in recent memory and a non-starter for me). The back room dances are topless, though as per the rules in VA (and in many bars in `MD as well) they are wearing pasties / clear latex. The stage dances consist of the first with top, the second with top off. The girl on the first stage (very low, no seats around it) than goes to the second stage (higher, with seats around it) , and then does top-on for first dance, top-off for second dance. The songs are 4-5 minutes, not cut down after 3 minutes. There is a girl dancing on each of the two stages. A tip gets you appreciated attention, though not necessarily a faceful of joy. Not much Stevie Wonder action.