Still the best in London

OK - Let me qualify my "still the best in London" statement... It's nothing like Stringfellows, Spearmint, Browns or any of the other London mega clubs with fantastic lighting, a well stocked bar, mirror balls and a state-of-the-art sound system. Ye Olde Axe is an old pub, just like the name suggests. It needs a decent lick of paint on the outside, the inside is reminiscent of any old East End boozer, the landlord is a grumpy git and the clientele are a mix of beer-sipping old-timers, scaffolders and locals... And that's what makes it great. There are no groups of pissed-up stag doers or Armani-suited bankers after a boozy lunch; this is just a relaxed pub environment where you can go for a quiet pint, with the added benefit of having semi-naked ladies for company.

Although the compulsory pound-in-a-pint-mug shows are nothing special, the private dances are second to none. That said, the term "private dance" requires a bit of artistic licence, as you share the company of your chosen lady on an L-shaped bench with the other lucky punters. If you get your timing right then you could have the room to yourself but if you get it wrong then you could be inches away from another guy - so watch where you put your hands! But ignoring the potential risk, the dances are really good, with lots of grinding and with touching actively encouraged. I had three private dances when I was there and each was better and more raunchy than the last. Each girl has their own limit but you'd be hard pressed to find the limits of one of the girls I had the pleasure of dancing with and every dance is significantly more interactive than any dance I've had elsewhere in the capital - apart from one private club that I go to occasionally (PM me if you're interested).

So, all in all, this is definitely the best place for a quiet drink and an intimate, sexy dance with some cracking, friendly ladies. I'm afraid it is inevitably that one day someone will either renovate Ye Olde Axe and turn it into another crappy, glitzy club or demolish it for more hipster homes, as is the case in this part of the world, so take my advise and pay it a visit whilst you still can.