Not worth it

I've been wanting for a while to try out Tucson's only nude club. I arrived one night just after their 8pm opening but was told there were no dancers in the house at that time, but that dancers should be arriving "any time now". I decided to return, which I did on a Friday night. At 9pm there were eight dancers and one other customer. I paid my $11 cover, bought a $5.75 juice, and had a seat at one of the high tables. I didn't last there for long as the chair was incredibly uncomfortable. But before I moved on the dancer on stage waved me over. I sat and she started to take her top off but then pulled out her g string: "tip me first." After I slid a dollar in she took off her top. Again she teased, this time with her bottoms; I slid a dollar in and she pulled them aside enough for a good glance. She did two more decent stage tricks, after again making it clear that a dollar would be needed; I gave her $4 over maybe 60 seconds. And she still wasn't naked, just flashing the kitty. I retreated to a table on the opposite side of the club.

And then I watched all of the dancers, who sat and talked with each other. The dancer on stage came down and sat with me and told me dance prices: $20 topless lap, $30 nude lap, $160 house fee for a half hour in a cabana. She pressed hard multiple times for a dance -- and I mean pressed hard verbally; she didn't touch at all -- she finally departed. And I sat. And watched the dancers. None approached me. I had my eye on a very cute, very skinny dancer and got excited when I saw her leave her perch near the bar and head my way, She gave me a big smile as she walked right by me into the dressing room. A few minutes later she came out, dressed, and left.

The first dancer came back over, and since I was running short on time I took her up on her dance offer. We go behind the beaded curtain into a room with strange little bench cubicles and she sits next to me, not touching, to wait for the next song. When it starts she removes all of her clothing and settles on my lap. I raise my hands to her hips and she pushes them down and says touching is only allowed in the cabana. She proceeds to do a decent lap, including one of my favorite moves: she put her shoulders on my legs and rolled up so that her asshole and pussy were inches from my face. When she changed position I said "I figure no touching meant no licking either". She responded that if I had licked I would have gotten hit.