Awful

If it's possible for a place to be even more barren than my soul, that place would be the Jewel Box. I walked in downstairs, and there were two girls...a 4 dancing, and a 4 working the floor. It was so sad, the bartender actually apologized and clearly felt guilty about the situation. She advised me to head upstairs, but I was admonished that I couldn't take me beer with me. So, I sat there even more awkwardly than I usually am, and drank my Miller Lite, hoping the dumpy chick wouldn't try and sell me on a dance. Needless to say, I finished quickly and moved to the second floor.

There, even worse news awaited. Again there was a bartender, but this time there was just one dancer. I dig redheads, man, but this one just wasn't doin' it for me. Looked just a shade cracked out, like she hadn't fully immersed herself in street drugs just yet, but was well on her way to doing so. Well, fuck it, I figured. It's rude to just walk away, like implying, "Hey stripper chick you're super ugly I'm out". So again I had an awkward drink while she tried to salvage her night by seeking some VIP action. I felt such pity that I handed her five bucks. Didn't even try to stick it in her g-string or anything. Just forked it right over, like a routine transaction in a convenience store.

So anyway, if you're headed Blockward, I'm not sure I'd bother checking this place out. Red Room is back to its old self, and there's always Club Pussycat as well as Hustler. I bid you happy hunting.