Another self-promoting review!!!

"Let me tell you guys, this place is the shit!!! From the moment I walked in, I was greeted by beautiful friendly girls. They were great conversationalists and well versed on any topic of discussion. Not pushy or bored or unattractively desperate. The free food, happy hour specials, or whatever lame promotion and gimmick I took part of was awesome!!! Not to mention the hourly two for the price of one private dances!!! The dances were sensual but not slutty. The bouncers and staff are friendly too!!! I walked into the sparkling clean bathroom to take a piss and when the last drop came out, the bouncer reached around and gave me a little courtesy jiggle before zipping my pants for me!!! Next thing I know, I was a part of a bachelor party in the champagne room where bottles were popping and drinks were pouring. By now I was feeling so fly like a G6. All these sober girls around me they be acting like they drunk. That's when by buddies Drake and Kanye West pulled into the club and Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus got on stage and started making out and we made it rain. Eminem was in the back of the club wearing a hoodie and moping but you know that's just Slim Shady being Slim. Whenever me and my friends are looking for a wild and crazy time we head on over to Platinum Plus. Make sure you check out Amateur Night with $500 in cash prizes!!! Oh yeah and the carpet was very clean."

Said no real customer of the club.

Ever.