A Landmark in Decline

As a business traveler with occasional trips to Houston,I have fond memories of the Treasures of 10-15 years ago (whether the pre- or post-Enron days). Treasures was a top destination for hot women and high rollers, an exciting place to burn a few hours (and plenty of cash). Based on this week's visit (admittedly an early afternoon on a weekday), this once-great club has been replaced by its zombie twin. As most know, it's a big facility located near the upscale Galleria shopping megaplex. The wallet abuse began with a $10 valet parking charge (had I read TUSCL more carefully, I would have driven by the troll and self-parked). Then, once in the front door, I paid the daytime cover and instantly had a bored stripper attach herself to me like a lamprey. I begged off to use the men's room (complete with 400 pound troll asleep in a chair) and returned to a table in the main room, but before I could order a drink, the lamprey had returned and began her blather about all the wonderful ways she could be mine for the afternoon. Geesh. I looked around (the lighting was too bright for a strip club) and immediately became aware of the problem: there were about three dancers for every customer. While I understand the girls are trying to earn a living, and I was actually interested in some company, the situation was basically a "murder of crows" circling a few PL carcasses, each one taking a chance in turn. Ten years ago, when the average Treasures dancer was an 8, it would have been easier to take, but this day the talent had slipped all the way to mediocre--older, less fit, less appealing, more aggressive. Not what you'd call a relaxing experience. I tried to pay attention to the stage show, but the lighting was poor and the dancer on stage was nearly motionless. I turned to my glass of whiskey (Crown Royal on special at $4, the only bargain of the day), and made my way through the sales pitches.

After a few rejects and more booze, I had a real conversation with an older dancer from Ecuador. She was a little bit past pretty, but smart and sensual, and I was finally getting in the mood, We moved to an interior room (not very private, but the couches were far enough apart and the crowd was small enough to be OK) and began a series of $20 dances, decent contact and attention. Blessedly, there was no upsell to VIP once we wrapped up. On my return to the main room, there were even more dancers and fewer customers (the lunch "crowd" had evaporated). Knowing what was in store for me, I decided to cut my losses. (I wound up at the Ritz, which was a much better experience--see separate review.) Net, not much harm done overall, but I walked away with the impression that the place is living on a no-longer-deserved reputation.