sinclair's Review

I went to The Clubhouse around 22:00 on a Saturday night and stayed all the way until closing time at 05:00 on Sunday morning, mainly because I had alot of booze to consume. The club is located in an industrial area north of West Northwest Highway. Pulling onto the property, you have the option to either pay the attendant $10 to self park in the back of the lot or use the valet and parked up front, which is $10 plus a tip. The club is BYOB, so the cover charge is $20 to make for this. Upon entry they look over your booze. I happened to have a bottle of Coke in my set up to mix with my whiskey. They told me to take it back to my car. You have to buy any mixers you might need from the club. A tub of ice to put your beer or alcohol in is $20. I went in on this because I had brought a lot of beer and hard alcohol for the ladies, but it is not mandatory. About half of the people here seemed to just bring in a case of beer and decline the cooler fee. A glass with some ice cost $2 and a small glass bottle of Coke (mixer) cost $4. I did not like the $56 worth of nickel-and-diming before I even got to feel up some T&A.

The club has a large two-pole stage on the back wall and a secondary island stage that surrounds the bar, less in the middle of the club. There are two poles on the secondary stage, but they are more of support pillars than stripper poles. Dancers would dance two songs on the main stage, and then move to the secondary stage for at least four songs it seemed. It seemed most dancers did get fully nude or at least give a good flash of their pussy. There is an upstairs to the club, which is basically a balcony that wraps around the outer walls of the building. You can sit up there and be a VIP if you pay a higher cover charge of $55. The music is mostly rock with an occasional dance or pop track thrown in. There is no hip hop or thug factor at this club. There is a lot of memorabilia decorating the club, such as Dimebag Darrell’s guitars and Vinnie Paul’s drums. Topless dances take place downstairs and are $20 each. Nude dances take place upstairs and are $30 each.

Dancer quality was way down from my last visit to The Clubhouse back in January 2015. A year ago, there were tons of sexy Goth and rock chicks, and I was hoping for a similar line-up. This visit, it seemed like forty percent of the dancers were black. Did the dancers from the Black Orchid move down the street? Most of the white and Hispanic dancers were older (late 20’s or 30’s) and torn up by having kids. I prefer women who don’t have saggy bellies, deflated-balloon boobs, stretch marks, cellulite, and erectile nipples. There were only a couple of dancers that met my expectations for The Clubhouse.