The Decline of a Legendary Club in London
If you want to see an example of the true decline in the strip club industry, look no further than Stringfellows. Once recognized worldwide as having the most beautiful women in the world, today the club is nothing but a shadow of what it used to be during its heydays. Yes, if you are old enough to remember what the clubs were like before online porn, OnlyFans, and rise of social media influencers, you will recall that Stringfellow's was once legendary for being one of the most expensive clubs and for having the most beautiful women. Oh, the decline is painful to witness! The men of Gen Z and most of Gen Y have no idea what strip clubs like Stringfellow's used to be like.
Okay, it doesn't appear that this club has been reviewed in quite some time, so here is one to update. I was in the Piccadilly area on Saturday night and decided to hit Stringfellow's shorty before midnight. I was greeted by two men at the front door and paid 20 pounds for entrance. The club was very similar to how I remembered. As I walked in and took a look at the talent I almost immediately turned around and walked out. Weak is the only word that comes to mind. Since I was in the door and paid the cover, I figured I might as well order a drink and give the club a fair review.
So the club itself is quite small. It's somewhat dated but still classy. As you enter there is a bar to your right with several bar stools, a few high top tables, a narrow stage right in the center that's probably 18x4, and then maybe 6 tables to the left of the stage. Downstairs is where the private booths are, but I didn't go down for obvious reasons. It is fair to say that the owner hasn't changed much in 25 years, but this is what high end strip clubs used to be like. It's classy and you feel like everything is going to be pricey. That's the feel.
I took a seat at the bar, ordered a cold beer for 11 pounds. I would say there were 6-8 girls sitting by the bar and a few that were over by a table of men trying to hustle and get their attention. I was immediately approached by two British women that thought they were something special. They put the hardpress sales pitch on me that I haven't heard in ages. The pitch is simple...let's go downstairs and you will have a good time. Now I knew going in that there is no "good time" allowed in London, so I politely explained where I am from, and clubs that I am used to visiting, and that I was well aware from trips in the past that there was no good time to be had. Still, they went on to say that I had never been downstairs with them and they were different. Sure! Now look, if these two or even one of them was a solid 10, I would have taken the bait and done an hour downstairs. Sadly, these two were a 5 or maybe a 6 on my scale and I didn't see any girl in the club any hotter. Yes, I have been an idiot in the past and spent a fortune in those Tokyo hostess clubs just sitting, drinking, and talking with gorgeous Japanese women, so if there was a gorgeous British woman at Stringfellow's, I probably would have pissed away some money on air dances in their private booths downstairs. I was as polite as possible in declining the pressures pitch, but finally had to be frank and let them know that I wasn't some lonely American tourist and any dollar I spent on them was money I could much better spent tomorrow night when I was stateside. They eventually gave up and walked away, but since there were so few customers in the club, there were no other men to hit up so they went and sat at the other end of the bar. I sat for 10-15 mins looking for a stunner to emerge, but eventually decided to leave and call it a night.
Visiting clubs like Stringfellow's gives me flashbacks to what clubs used to be like and how OnlyFans and social media has been a wrecking ball to this industry. A gorgeous girl today can make more money posting a few sexy photos online than she can hustling men in a strip club all night. Gen Y and Z expect much less than us older guys do because they never got to experience the epic years of strip clubs, but I don't see how any strip club today survives unless they offer men what they will never find on their iPhones and computer screens. Yet, even clubs that offer full contact lap dances and extras are struggling to survive and struggle to hire gorgeous women. What we are witnessing is a slow steady decline to what used to be a great way to blow money. This is why clubs are closing and no wise investor is putting money into buying or opening clubs.
