Never Again

Well I told you it was coming here it is my honest review of little darlings. It started with the walk in the door where I was promptly asked by the girl if I wanted to see her topless for $5 her name was Leah or something needless to say it wasn't worth the experience to save you the cash and time especially since in mere minutes you will be inside and for only a dollar can get a much better viewing. So I walked in and had a seat where my drink order was promptly taken but not actually filled for another twenty or so minutes which would have been understandable had the place had more than just ten or so patrons at the time. Shortly after I was seated I was approached by a male employee and told I was sitting in "special" reserved seating of sorts which to my surprise was the same as all the other seating around making it well not "special" to say the least. My opinion is if you are going to offer a "VIP" section and charge $55 for a hour or between $150 to $200 for a bottle of wine and seating for the whole evening it should at least feel somewhat "special" and the wine should be a better wine than what I can pull off the shelf myself at the local store for $20 or less. Needless to say I moved seats quite literally three feet away and closer to the stage shortly after the conversation. So now I am "VIP" adjacent and have my $10 pitcher of domestic beer and finally able to enjoy myself, or so I thought but what I paid to enjoy was well lacking talent and most of them in the looks department as well but I digress. I then got up to use the restroom across the bar leaving a full glass of beer and three quarters of my pitcher on the table, not wanting it to disappear while I was up I placed my ID on the table and walked toward the restroom. Inside the restroom I am completely sure no less than a handfull of health violations were being committed as the urinal was broken, literally cracked and backed up, and what I could only assume was urine on the floor which was poorly laid and grouted tile from wall to wall, and cracked jagged glass backsplash and counter tile around the filthy sink. Just over all poorly maintained. Not to mention the oh so cliche condom machine on the wall which by the way if you plan on using it bring your own quarters because there isnt a quarter to be had in the entire building even by asking, because they only deal in whole dollars. Anyhow I exited the dismal restroom and headed back to my table only to find my beer and pitcher already removed in the less than five minutes I was gone but ID still in plain sight. Well there goes my one drink minimum. I asked the waitress where it went she said the table had been cleaned and I would have to talk to the bartender. So I did and after thorough complaining and explanation I was offered a free bottle of water as compensation which seems totally right and fair... I took the bottle of water said my piece and was out the door past the what I could only assume was a "bouncer" named Shaun, but an overweight overly flamboyant softie would not have been my first choice for security at a gentlemans club but what do I know. In a nutshell my 40 or so minutes at little darlings cost me $15 to get in $5 to the girl behind the counter for a viewing $10 for a glass of beer and a free water so all in all I spent $30 to sit down see a few disappointing girls use a filthy restroom and leave with a bottle of water thanks to everyone involved at little darlings and I won't be back If anyone is looking to experience the nightlife in Kalamazoo save yourself some time and money and just watch porn on your phone while enjoying a nice meal at one of the local breweries or hibachi restaurants it will end up being a much better night I promise.

Giving Little Darlings a Legendary half a star yours truly-The Review Guy-

John S.

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