Quiet on Saturday Evening

Saturday, 8PM, and I had almost an hour to kill. So why not LDs? I expected the "we don't care you'll only be here an hour, it's $35 to get in." Didn't expect the "you're dead to me" vibe after showing the coupon on my phone. I guess the girl at the door has tired of having to play the "I don't know what you're talking about" game when someone mentions the coupon without actually showing it. $15 cover. No tip. (Well, one tip: lose the attitude.)

I hadn't even rounded the corner to the bar when I felt dancer #1 - a brunette who might have been a angel - acquire radar lock on me. I'm sure she could tell I was there to spend $ and get out. (That's a skill missing in so many dancers these days. Shame.) I hadn't even ordered my $6 cola when I felt her grip and though she ought to be buying me dinner.We adjourned to a table with a view of the stage. On my lap, she my hand from her lower back to her, um, lower, lower back. She started in with the hard sell, insisted on giving me "the tour." Don't think I'd ever seen the private rooms behind the bar before. Told me to ignore the prices and offered a price I'd have taken, despite her having a tad too much ink for me to ignore, if I hadn't had places to be. The price dropped again and again, down to less per song than many of the dancers usually charge for the couch dances. Made promises I found unlikely, and a little crazy if true. Suggested something I think might have voided her lenscrafters warranty. Wasn't my thing.

Dancer #2, a blonde, seemed sweet, but I didn't even let her sit down and politely explained why. (A hint for the ladies: chace that cig with some gum or something.) She was understanding and seemed not to be offended.

Dancer #3 looked like a long-lost crush, could have set my heart ablaze. She, also, took a seat on my lap. While we chatted, saw #2 take the stage and do my favorite move; made mental note to tip her a fiver later. #3's approach was much less aggressive than #1, so I asked about dances rather than let my time waste away. Asked "are they still $20?" Was told "yes, but the house takes $10, so most girls ask for $40." Didn't have time to haggle, sure didn't want her to do half-assed job for the real rate. In retrospect, probably a bad move. Got what I'd call a nice $20 dance for $40. I considered the 2nd $20 a hell of a tip. One and done.

Getting change at the bar took a lot longer than I expected, but I made sure to tip #2 that $5. She asked why, and laughed when I told her.