Go upstairs

Tried out the Penthouse club for a change of pace on a recent visit. Took advantage of Robert's Steakhouse. I had heard the quality of food was good and that was accurate. Most of the dancers, in fact, were up hanging out with the guys eating dinner. Downstairs was almost totally empty. It's a good setup. You can get the company of a dancer to visit with while eating a good steak and talk without having to make any quick decisions. This club is all about the VIP room however. The dancers make zero working the club or stages from what I could see. But the VIP's are steep, even by NY standards. There is a dancer fee and then a separate room fee. Even with cash, you're up close to $1,000 an hour before you even think about tipping anyone, which you want to do. If you use a credit card, you get hosed for an additional "convenience fee" which punches you in the sack for an extra 20%!!! Welcome to NY. The irony of the problem is that the VIP dances, in my experience, are really good, so even though it makes zero sense, by the time you're in the moment, you're not thinking about what an awful deal they are. Which translates into multiple hours. Which translates into a hell of a lot of money. But the VIP experience is measurably better than some of the other NY clubs. They're private, the dancer I chose was extremely friendly and unlike a lot of other clubs, nobody is barging in every two minutes saying "knock knock" and pushing more alcohol on you. And wait staff and bar and bouncers were professional and made me feel welcome.

So if you walk in and see nobody in the place, try out the second floor. It's a completely different experience up there. And you'll enjoy the steak at prices not much different than any steakhouse in the city. And the VIP experience may be a lot better than you're used to.