Long Live the King!
I rode North on my way to the cape, on way I grew tired, weary, needed a place for slumber. I knew the King had an inn in North Darmouth so I ventured forth. I pulled up with my horse, adorned in blue jeans and t shirt watching out for caltrops and began to shout "YOUR MAJESTY, I GROW TIRED, WHAT SAY YOU!?!?!" I enter the abode and come in contact with a gate troll, no penance demanded, no featly given, a duel was had, I slayed the foul beast and his memory I showed my drivers license to his corpse. He should of checked me for weapons, for I was in full plate armor.
The layout of the tavern was as follows. Ale served on the left, Damsels caroled on the right, although none caroled on this night. Instead they just chattered about. A dance with a damsel was 30 dubloons and the VIP all you can eat feast (for some reason a wink wink was given) for 140 dubloons for 15 minutes. The chamber pot was made of metal ramps. My ale was 7 dubloons, and one dubloon to the fair maiden behind the bar.
The damsels were strewn about, talking to customers who hailed from the land of europe about 6 in number. None of women made me want to unsheath my sword except for maybe one. Some with 20 years and some more than 40 years. In fact my sword was rather soft, which I didn't know was physically possible. The type of place where you lift your visor and return in back down immediately. About 4 dancers also from europe, and another two from Portugal or Isle of Azures. I was confronted by two older sister medusas from Cape Verde, and was did all I could to escape their wrath. I parried, parried and ran not from breaths of fire, or arrows, or spears but from what would be universally considered retarded conversation.
This Knight rode out fast and hard in desperate retreat. Not again, would rather lye asleep in the woods next time. King's inn was fit for a squire or a lowly peasant. Though if one were looking for a brothel along the road filled strumpets, one has found it. It being in the demesne of the King, I had thought it would be Harem of Angels, mistaken I was. Ride on now to Camelot, HEYAHH!!!
This review is dedicated to the memory of Juicebox69 son of Juicebox68, House of Juice Crew.
